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When you and your girlfriend are doing the dirty on your friend’s basement couch and you proceed to throw both your legs up on the back of the couch and then swan dive into your girlfriends anus or preferred orifice.
“Hey Jamie? Did you give your girlfriend the ‘ol Texas Slamhammer on my couch last night?”
Rednecks....rednecks everywhere.
Danbury Texas , where you'll hear "ain't no way you can out pull my truck" or "you sure she's my cousin?"
Not quite rural not quite a suburb. Haslet Texas is a small town in north Texas where you look out your window and you can see the cows and horses almost every direction. Nothing to do out there except go get drunk and drive your four wheelers around the street.
Your a girl who chews tobacco ? You must be from Haslet Texas.
a town full of cousin fuckers that are inbreeded. They suck at every sport and play 6 man football. They all drive f 150's and fuck each other . Also you see the same people at waffle house that you do here
Logan:Have you ever been to clyde Texas?
Jackson:No ,why?
Logan:That's where i fuck my mother and my cousin
The rules of Texas are a simple, yet unwavering creed held up by anybody who wishes to call themselves an inhabitant of this blessed state.
1. Always go 10 or more above the speed limit.
2. If you ever find yourself in such an unsultry place as dallas (or the “keep Austin weird” parts of Austin) make no eye contact and keep on driving.
3. Whataburger and Dr. Pepper are supreme. Do not question it, and most of all don’t disagree with it.
4. Oklahoma and Texas sure do hate each other, but it’s like a brotherly hate.
5. Both california (I refuse to capitalize the c) and Texas sure do hate each other. This isn’t brotherly. californians, (I refuse to capitalize the c) unless escaping and seeking asylum, should be shot on sight.
6. When flying a Texas flag, make sure to raise it to the same height as the American flag.
7. Never forget that Texas was once it’s own country.
8. Texas is the only place more American than America.
9. Every Texan has the God-given right and ability to shoot a gun.
10. Don’t mess with Texas.
Failure to recognize and comply with these rules will result in severe consequences and punishment, included but not limited to: revoking of your Whataburger privileges, revoking of your Dr. Pepper privileges, or exile to california (I refuse to capitalize the c)
Person A: man I just visited Texas, what an awful place.
Person B: Apologize. Now. You commie piece of shit.
Person A: why is there a massive crowd trying to murder me?
Person B: you obviously deserve it, you don’t follow The Rules of Texas
The smallest county in Texas is also home to some seriously stupid kids. In the High Schools 1/2 of the kids smoke weed and almost all of them leave High School non Virgins. The few black guys there are have the hottest white girls on their dicks at will. It is also impossible to find a hot girl who hasn't sent out nude pics. Every hot girl in the school (im talking to you RHHS) has some seriously hot nude pics. Good luck trying to thrive here if you are any religion besides christian. The word Jesus is in every other sentence that comes out of peoples mouths here. Did i mention Chuck Norris also live in this town? Not to sure what brought him here, the low perfect blend of city and country or the fine ass milfs that live here feeding off of their rich ass husbands. Located next to a large lake you can always count on the hot chicks of Facebook posting sexy Bikini pics on their boats. If you are intrested in this town do not move here. Our streets are falling apart from heavy traffic and we dont want anymore people moving in.
Those kids were smoking weed like they lived in Rockwall Texas.
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The act of ejaculating into a handful of raw ground beef, then proceeding to slap someone with it.
Did you hear about the Texas Meatslap we gave to Brenda? Shit was so cash.
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