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AKA- Eggnog: that wonderful alcohol infused, yet seemingly innocous beverage seasonally responsible for transgressions ranging from mild next-morning memory loss to full-on office party infidelity.
Ho-Lee Shit! What happened last night at the Xmas party?
Well, you and a bunch of degenerates pushed down about a gallon of Eggnog each. You kept callin' it Santa spooge, Akmed said he was drinkin' Mumammed milk and Sally over there claimed it was Jesus juice. Either way it ended in a 3-some.
When Santa blows a load on your face.
i saw mommy gettin' a Santa Sundae
A city in California. South of Fraisure Park and north of the Sanfernando Valley. It is filled with upper middle class families who live in their little cookie cutter boxes. There are 5 main areas of Santa Clarita: Valencia, Saugus, Newhall, Canyon Country, and Stevenson's Ranch. It is a major center for many people in the show biz like Jamie Lynn Spears, Taylor Lautner, Sasha Petirse, and Madison Davenport. It is also filled with annoying teenage girls that have enough money to be well off, but act as though they are rich socialites. It is also the hometown of the Six Flags theme park Magic Mountain, California Institute of the Arts, College of the Canyons, and William S. Hart park. Residential areas vary from suburban neighborhoods to urban city life to rural ranch property.
The Valencia Town center is the local mall that has only a limited ammount of fascinaating store, making it's self rather average. There are two movie theaters, one in the Towncenter, the other in Canyon Country. It is the home of the Canyon Theater Guild, now the Santa Clarita Reigonal Theater. Other entertainment options include two bowling alleys, a Mountasia Fun Center, and a Scooter's Jungle.
All around a good place once you get past the snotty brats,a the wannabe gangsters, and potheads.
Santa Clarita, AWESOME TOWN! Where our gangs, don't even look thretening.
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When you secretly nut on your girl's pillow right before bed on Christmas eve. She lays down to await Santa's arrival, only to find that he's already arrived, and it's on her chin.
Susan was pissed when she got my Sneaky Santa, but I did it for the 'gram.
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Cougars that go to the mall with their children at Christmas time so that they can hit on Santa.
Elf volunteer: Omg did u see that cougar out there?
Santa: Ya. She's a real Santa Hoe... Think I could get her in the break room?
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A large man in a red suit who hates Jews and all other non-Christians. Santa Clause is a rampant consumerist and breaks into houses for milk and cookies.
That fat-fucker Santa Clause didn't leave me any presents because he is intolerant.
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A small town with a 2 lane freeway, that has the traffic of a 3 or 4 lane freeway.
It used to have character, but the local governement tore down all the historical buildings to "modernize," which then made them neglect the downtown area which has now gone to ruin and is stricken by poverty.
The local government also does a horrible job with maintaining the local economy, by letting in large corporations which push out local business, and making it hard for letting local business to open.
Santa Maria High School's facilities are a joke. The classrooms are out-dated and the football field is hideous. Althought, it had many good programs (the best of which is the welding program) and has more 4-H funding then they can handle.
Pioneer Valley High School has some of the best facilities in the state, taking that they were given over 20 million in state funding, due to a bad write-up by a district member (not going to name names). They have quite a few fountains, a terf football field, rubber track, nice baseball fields, very up-to-date weight room and wonderful tennis facilities.
Local restaurants are wonderful, if you can find them. The large chain restaurants are all located near the freeway, while the wonderful places, such as: Shaw's, DW's American Bistro and Brick's are all hidden inside the city near Broadway.
Santa Maria is overall nicely sized in population, but also known for its strawberries. Santa Maria has the best strawberries in the nation, and any local can tell you that.
Santa Maria is also known for Santa Maria style BBQ, known as tri-tip. Anyone from Santa Maria knows where tri-tip comes from, and now so do you.
Santa Maria is a great place to drive through while on the way to Santa Barbara or Pismo Beach.
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