Bit the Pretzel

To completely fumble a near-perfect situation with a female.

That girl was so into Gary until he managed to spill his red wine all over her red dress. He bit the pretzel.

Pumpernickel Pretzel

When your poop is really long and you shape it into a neat pretzel

“Damn homie I even gave her my pumpernickel pretzel and she STILL cheated on me”

damp pretzel

When someone likes men

dude did you hear david is a damp pretzel

pretzel twisting

Putting ones penis(stolen) into a German vomans vagina(pretzel) and thrusting vigorously until orgasm.

Ryan: Did you do some pretzel twisting last night with that chick?
Alex: Three times last night and once this morning, I'm a pretzel twisting machine.

Oh, pretzel twisting is wunderbar, Ja?
Ja.

Go warm up a pretzel

To go fuck yourself.

Why don't you just go warm up a pretzel.

pretzel nubs

The most delicious part of a pretzel.

Where's the pretzel nubs?

cheesy pretzel

When a girl gives a guy a blowjob after sex when she has a yeast infection.

Joe: I can't believe you had sex with her while she had a yeast infection.
Marc: I know, but I totally gave her a cheesy pretzel right after too.