hen fap

Hen Fap is:
1) what kanye says in golddigger
2) easy on the tongue
3) whatever is necessary; i.e. shmoolike
4) a nonsequitur with longer legs than I thought.
5) a reference to a random onion article birthed over at the late aja/dante
6) apparently an excellent way to really make people upset which is very odd as Hen Fap is most decidedly:
7) pure, unadorned love

"Where's your Hen Fap" - Basement Jaxx

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I'd fap that

Used when you want to say that you would masturbate to something. Usually used be geeks because they know that they have no chance of actually having sexual intercourse.

Geek 1: Check out this picture of Jessica Alba!

Geek 2: I'd fap that!

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fap jacket

Any form of receptacle (typically an orphaned gym sock) that is used during masturbation to capture one's ejaculation.

This picture is really fappable. Now, where did I put my fap jacket?

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Fap and Win

A school of thought based on the inequality:
Fapping > Sex + Pain.

Stated simply the pleasure one derives from fapping is always greater than the pleasure one derives from sex when the pain of non-sexual female interaction is taken into account.

I used to freak out all the time trying to get laid, both about how she'd act afterwards and whether 9 months later I'd hear from her. But then ImperialExecutive taught me how to 'Fap and Win'. I am a changed man because of FaW.

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Circle of Fap

The constant and endless desire to Fap from morning to night. Regardless of activity between getting up and going to bed each day, the desire and need to Fap is always present.

No matter the day, time or activity he was involved, Joel was constantly stuck in the Circle of Fap.

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Fap Captain

Literal: Someone who masturbates more than they have sexual intercourse.

Slang: A male who masturbates to *excess*.

*Considered to the general public to be more than sixteen times a week.

Tom: Is John coming with us to the bar later?

Billy: No- I bet he's busy at home choking the chicken again, that horny bastard.

Tom: What a Fap Captain.

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fap arm

when your fap arm is bigger than your other arm due to chronic fapping

john: "You arent by any chance a lefturbater are you?"
Jack: " yeah why?"
John: "you appear to have a sever case of fap arm"

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