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The large behind of a female soccer player. This ass is most often desirable, though not always. Often associated with short soccer shorts.
"Dude, that girl's a sick soccer player."
"Thus, her sick soccer ass."
"Word."
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A Soccer Mom is a dumb, ignorant, upper middle class cunt who tries to give the impression that she is from the upper class. The main identifications of Soccer Mom's are a huge coffee, those stupid short jackets that are meant for chicks in their 20's, an attitude of entitlement and bitchness, and an SUV that rivals the fuel consumption and handling of a tank.
Other characteristics include a huge butt shoehorned into jeans meant for slim chicks in their 20's, rampant materialism, probably racist, some type of hardcore conservative. This is basically a grown up version of the college slut who was a general bitch to everyone.
Her children are known as "Mindy" and "Biff". Mindy is the dumb airheaded slut who has the same attitude of entitlement. Mindy is usually dressed up in tight pants that cause butt suffocation, and some kind of tank-top. Biff is the wannabe tough guy frat boy who is probably racist, spits everywhere, and has a chip on his shoulder. Eventually, another type of Mindy meets another type of Biff and the cycle continues.
Soccer mom's can be seen speeding up the apocalypse by encouraging armed conflict in a world where the vast majority of nations have nuclear weapons, yelling at people to get their way, glaring at me because I look like an Arab, so I must be trying to take over the world or something, hating minorities, drinking coffee, and being a general pain in the ass.
The Soccer Mom is the dumb cunt with the huge butt standing in line in front of you at a coffeeshop, yelling at the poor overworked waitstaff that they forgot to add mocha to her half-caf, splenda, mocha, vanilla latte. In addition, they also forgot to smile.
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a middle aged white suburban woman who devotes herself WAY too much to her kids to make up what she couldnt suceed when she was a kid. they usually drive big ass SUVs, or mini vans and participate in numerous school activities, such as soccer, parties, fund raiser, sports events, PTA, and other school events. they are usually chaperones to every school field trip, and never leave their kids unattended. after school, they usually force their kids into after school activities, like karate, baseball, choir, and shit like that. they rather their kids do an activity over an actual job, and they volunteer them for community service when they didnt even do nething wrong. these kids cant make descisions on their own, and their fathers who are never present on the subject, are never around. these kids cant play video games that have a good theme or story plot, violence, magic, or nething fun. basically, nothing thats rated E+10 and above. the only music they can listen to is radio disney and classical, no movies that are rated above PG, and they probably never heard of the word known as "the internet". they are to attend church service every sunday and hafta particpate in choir and such. basically, these kids arent free from their soccer moms till their sophmore year of high school, and even then their mom chaperones the prom.
frankly, by puberty, mommy's "little angels" are spoiled rotten, and they can never rule out that Jimmy and Stephanie are selling crack and having orgies at a unchaperoned party instead of attending the pep rally.
in adult hood, these kids will probably be atheist and wont let their kids go newhere near their grandma.
a soccer mom's kid is doomed to never think for themselves and have their minds warped by their mom's to become actors, lawyers, professional athletes, and doctors.
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See also: Hitlerite
Slang term for someone who sees fit to complain about any show or game that even has anything remotely diffrent from her (or his) narrow minded set of ideals.
A "Soccer mom" will often attempt to demonise the popualar item of the moment (ie: Harry Potter, Pokemon, Kim Possible, W.i.t.c.h and so on) with increcnely inane reasions behind it.
Soccer mom: This show has voilence!
Sane guy: Shut the fuck up! It's fucking Carebears!
Random parent: What are you doing in my house?
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A Soccer Mom is a 35-40 year old women generally found in an affluent suburb of a medium to large size metropolitan area. They come from white (not Asian, Latin, or European) American families who decided long ago that marrying into another race was just not for them. They are always upper middle class, as in they are to rich to work, but to poor to belong to an exclusive country club, or hire a nanny for their fucking annoying kids. Due to this financial dilemma, soccer moms generally find that there really isn't a set goal in their lives for them to achieve, therefore they devote themselves to the complete manipulation of their kids lives.
Their Kids - Generally average looking kids who are taught to from birth to believe that they are mommy's little baby, and in no way in hell can they ever do anything wrong. They are avid members of their sunday school, where they learn to memorize the entire new testament. At school, they are always extremely polite to their teachers, and love to share with their classmates.
As they get older however, they start to change. The boys realize once they hit high school, that their moms are the reason they haven't gotten laid, and generally develop a pattern of smoking excessive weed, drinking, and downloading unheard of amounts of porn. Due to this the soccer mom usually casts her son aside, and look to her angel daughter - usually named Kaitlyn. The daughter and mother unlike the son, develop a stronger relationship, in which the soccer mom attempts to become her daughters 'best friend'. They go shopping together, talk about all the cute guys in the daughters school, and all the drama that is taking place between the daughter, and her ditsy little friends - all named Jill. This relationship continues until the soccer mom comes home after a tiresome PTA meeting, and finds her daughter getting railed by some football player named Michael.. At this point, the soccer mom realizes that her little baby is growing up, and they start to develop a similar, but more disgusting mature relationship.
The Husband - Generally a tall, handsome guy who drives a silver 4 door Honda. They happen to work in a cubicle on the 31st floor of a high rise corporate building, filing insurance papers or something along those lines. They dress everyday in a fairly cheap suite when they go to work, and at home they are found to be sporting the latest attire from the Nike Golf lineup. Always they are found to have some boyish hobby that the soccer mom considers cute, like collecting limited edition football cards, or vintage 1950's records. Unknown to the wife(soccer mom) they secretly hate their life as they never aspired to their dream of being a professional sailing instructor, and in turn, arrive home late from work 3 nights a week after fucking their secretaries.
This concludes the life of a soccer mom. Take caution when driving through suburban neighborhoods, vacationing in Florida, or during November elections (if you're not voting for Hillary - god bless) as you just might be caught, and told that you're the reason America is going to the dogs.
While on vacation in Florida, Soccer Mom Susan cries out in grief that she forgot to reschedule that months PTA party "High Fives for Hillary." - Fucking Bitch.
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"Soccer Mom" is a term made up during the election year 1996 to describe a white surburban homemaker wife who thinks that anything that is not explicitly Fundamentalist "Christian" is bad for her rotten little shits she calls her kids. She drives a bigass gas-guzzling SUV, tries to push her views on morality on everyone else, and goes shopping all the fucking time when she ain't taking her brats to soccer or piano practice or some other fucking stupid shit because she lives off her husband's wages. She gives money to a political party and tries to influence them to her standards. She's involved in PTA, the church "clique", you name it - she is influential and pushy in them all. In other words, an all-American stuck-up conforming judgmental BITCH.
Tipper Gore. Her kids got into drugs. I wonder why? Another example is the women who watch shit on the TV like that overblown yuppie Tupperware party that is called the View. On Sunday morning a Soccer Mom drops her daughter off to Sunday school, who then runs off with the cute boy in her class and they listen to a CD of "Satanic" music by U2, Pink Floyd, Rush or Ziggy Marley, then they smoke some Panama red and get it on in the grass.
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A soccer mom is a mom that lives in the suburbs,usually a homemaker,middle class or middle high class from the ages from 30-50 that have children.A soccer mom transport all her kids and everyone elses kids in either a minivan,sherman tank suv or a stationwagon.A soccer mom thinks her kids are angels when in reality the kids are a bunch of spoiled brat devils.A soccer mom life is very uniformed and want to keep up with the jones.When see a soccer mom by herself in her mini van or sherman tank suv means all the kids have been dropped off all school events.A soccer mom hang out paradise is a mall and spend tons of money on over price clothes for herself and the kids.May go for an overprice coffee.A cell phone is a soccer mom best friend to avoid those quiet moments to shoot the gossup with all rest of the soccer mom clan.A soccer mom version of dinner for the kids is go to mcdonalds and get the kids a happy meal.The type of music that a soccer mom will play for the kids is music from radio disney because it sound so wholesome.It is music for the whole family.A soccermom is an obsessed christian thinking if it isnt christian it is evil.Alot of soccer mom join organizations MAHR,PMRC,ESRP or some censorship group to think they are going to change the world and make it wholesome.A soccer mom doesn't believe in being an individual.A soccer mom want to become part of a bandwagon.A soccer lives a lifestyle being molded and sculpted on what society want her to be.
My example of a soccer mom driving in traffic is cutting everyone off in traffic.Have a hard time finding a parking space for the sherman tank suv.A soccer mom is known to be driving with a coffee on one hand and a cell phone on the other hand.May barely reach the steering wheel.
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