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Placing a baseball bat into the anus of the one you love.
I just gave that girl the bat santa!
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'Seriously bro, all I gotta do is throw on a couple Cure records and I'll be exploring Mysteria's Bat Cave in no time.'
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A Festi Bat is when a male partakes in the activity of masturbation during a music festival. Festivals are usually longer than one day although not necessarily so, as Festi Bats have been known to occur at one day festivals such as Stereosonic and Parklife.
Usually undertaken in the extreme heat of the middle of the day, the festi bat is a method of not only achieving a great deal of relief but also killing time until the point at which it becomes acceptable to once again recommence the alcohol and substance abuse that also occurred the previous day(s). Hence the Festi Bat is a valuable and multifaceted music festival tool.
The festi bat is a risky activity due to the fact that it takes place in close proximity to other festivalgoers, usually separated by only a thin piece of nylon, and would bring a great deal of embarrassment to the batsmen should he be caught or heard.
(NB: The Festi Bat is generally frowned upon by female festivalgoers and may decrease the chance of picking up that evening.)
Guy 1: Just had a festi bat, best decision I've ever made.
Guy 2: That is such a good idea, i'm going to go and have a festi bat now. Hopefully by the time I'm done we can start drinking alcohol again.
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Male masturbation, the greatest dicovery known to men.
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A Clandestine movie featuring Fall Out Boy.
Pete Wentz is so hot in Release The Bats. Then again he's alway's hot!
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The theory that the human population is kept in check by bats. Bats eat the excess children, slowing the rate at which the world's population takes up all space available on the planet. Thanks to bats, humans can survive on this planet a little longer.
The quote, "20 Million kids are eaten by bats every second," by Penny Arcade succinctly defines Bat Theory.
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When presented with a particularly stressful situation in life, a male may choose to partake in an emergency bat to relieve stress and help cope with the situation.
For example, after several hours of attempting to pick up at Arcadia Hotel with no success, a male can head to the bathroom and have an emergency bat to relieve the stress induced by the inability to find a partner in which to fornicate with.
If he so chooses, the batsmen can perform the emergency bat right there on the spot. (NB: This practice is generally frowned upon and may result in an earlier than anticipated eviction from the designated strike out venue)
The emergency bat is not reserved only for occasions of strike out, it can be used in a multitude of situations. For example if an exam is more difficult than anticipated (perhaps a lack of study because of too much porn during swot vac), a male can head to the bathrooms and relieve some stress. Or if you are DJing at a venue and the crowd you are playing to is very indie and they do not take kindly to your Zoë Badwi remix that you spent hours preparing. A quick trip to the bathroom for an emergency bat mid set may sufficiently relieve the tension and give you the resolve to soldier on.
Guy 1: Just got rejected for the third time tonight, cannot take a trick at the moment.
Darryl: Shit mate. Maybe have an emergency bat or something and try again later?? Or you could switch to guys and just give up all together.
Guy 1: Fuck you darryl. But yes I will have an emergency bat.
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