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Reverse Vampires (RVs) love the daylight and the morning hours. RVs promptly go to bed at sun-down, stopping all communication with others until the following morning.
Many RVs are tan with lighter colored hair. HOWEVER, as recently discovered by a young Boston native- some RVs retain their pale skin because all of the orange pigment migrates to the cranial end of the creature- thus creating an even-more fierce breed of Ginger-Vamp (or Reverse Ginger-Vamp).
As predicted, RVs do not draw blood from their victims. They much prefer having their own necks sucked and nibbled upon. In an effort to appear as animalistic and blood-thirsty as their vampire counterparts, RVs have been known to stain their own hands with cherry juice for intimidation.
Lastly, RVs don’t have fangs, cannot fly, ARE able to see their own reflection, and love garlic… Truly frightening!
In rare cases, RVs have been known to say “goodnight” when appropriate response would be “hello” or “good morning”. This defiant display of word-jargon is a direct act of spite against social norms, and is a sure-tell sign of a RV encounter.
If you do happen to stumble upon a RV (or God forbid, a Reverse Ginger-Vamp) be sure to get on their good side by displaying whimsical, unpredictable behavior, continuously telling dorky jokes to make them laugh, claiming to be (at least) ¾ gay as to mask obvious attraction to the creature, and keeping a minimum distance of 2,600 miles (or 4,200 km for our Canadian readers).
My date last night was sick! She loved my Italian cooking, and after that we made out for hours. I hickie’d that girl up, she loved it. It was awesome!
RE: Sounds like a good time, bro.
Its weird though, at 8 o’clock she passed out mid-conversation and texted me “goodnight” when she woke up this morning at the ass-crack of dawn…
RE: Holy shit dude, you better watch yourself. That chick sounds like Reverse Vampire! You better send her a teddy bear or somethin’, cause those things are crazy!!!
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The act of fingerblasting a chick while she is on her period.
"Man, did you fuck that chick?" "Nah dude, she was on her period, but I did give her a taste of the stately vampire."
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Another name for a tampon, specifically a bloody one.
I was taking a whiz, and I'll be damned if I didn't see one of her vampire teabags in the trash.
or
Here's what was clogging the toilet, one of your vampire teabags.
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A vampire unicorn is a mix between a vampire and a unicorn. They only come out at night to suck the blood of unsuspecting victims, while jumping over rainbows. They live in candy mountain, and are on the endangered species list because meth-zombie poachers are always shooting them. It rumored that a horn from a vampire unicorn can go for as much as 6 grams of meth and 4 interracial hand jobs.
Holy shit! I just a meth addict dragging a vampire unicorn down that aly...someone call the game and fish!
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Female that thinks she is a vampire (also known as Goth girls.) Their appearance consists of a general apathy, a pale completion, worn out fishnets, and black leather dresses.
I went to numbers to pick up some vampire pussy.
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A useless word that has been sent out as the word of the day on Friday Nov 21st, 2008.
"We don't have any good words for today."
"Well then, let's use Vegetarian Vampire!"
"Uh...don't you think people will unsubscribe if we use something so lame?"
"Nah..."
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Also known as a woman's time of the month.
Jane:
Doctor, there's blood coming out of my special place.
Dr Acula:
I may be a vampire, but you don't see flys devouring diarrhea.
Jane:
Damn you, vampire diarrhea!
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