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the act of oral sex while simultaneously massaging the shaft and scrotum or the male genitalia in a piano like action
Tron: Dude jenny played symphony #9 on my cock last night.
Bovice: what ya mean bro?
Tron: toats ma goats, she gave me the best beethoven blow job last night ever
she played my dick like a piano bro
7👍 1👎
The act of asking friends and family for employment instead of going through traditional job searching channels.
Tony asked me if I know anyone in construction -- he's doing an Italian job search.
7👍 1👎
The act of fornicating with two lubricated bare feet while inserting just the head of the penis into the female's oral cavity. Typically the woman sits in an upright butterfly position with the feet a few inches from her oral cavity allowing for maximum blowjob potential. Flexibility in the hips is required.
Treva: That couch looks comfortable!
Kori: Don't sit there. Meghan gave Jason a foot fuck job there last weekend.
65👍 26👎
Blow Job Guilt is when a guy spends anywhere between an hour or half a day begging his girl for a blow job, gets it, and then feels guilt afterwards.
Normally it goes in three stages:
1) Initially requesting the blow job and getting turned down.
2) Begging and pleading.
3) Turning sour, childish, or even angry after some time.
She finally gives it to him, and he feels bad when he realizes that he feels really good afterward and she is visibly upset/disppointed/feels used/feels like a cheap whore.
GUY: Hey baby, why doncha go down on me?
GIRL:I've got stuff to do, and I don't feel well.
GUY: Aw come on, baby.
(twenty minutes later)
GUY: Hey baby, come on, come on. Youre so hot, and it's turning me on. You know I love you.
GIRL: I think I have a fever, and I'm still upset cos my grandma died yesterday.
GUY: Aw come on.
(twenty minutes later)
GUY: Shit, how come all my pals get it whenever they want but .. what the hell.
GIRL: Look, I just don't feel like it, okay?
GUY: Aw what the hell. I guess you just don't love me even after all I do for you. Shit.
GIRL: Okay, okay fine!
(after he finishes)
GUY: Hey? Hey baby? What's wrong? You okay?... Hey you hungry? Hey how bout I take you to McDonalds like I've always been promising you.
GIRL: (thinking) Oh he's just got blow job guilt.
312👍 163👎
A very hot and painful burning sensation you feel in and around your anus, usually resulting from consumption of spicy foods. The feeling could be described as Satan himself giving you a rim-job (licking and or tounging of the asshole.)
Ricardo swallowed a whole habanero pepper and the next morning received Satan's rim-job
I splashed toilet water on my asshole because the burning of Satan's rim-job was too intense.
17👍 5👎
To jerk a man off with sandpaper or steel wool until he ejaculates, than gather all the blood,sperm,and skin into a cup and drink it.
TJ: Hey, did you hear Joe is in the hospital!
Alan: Are you serious?! Why?!
TJ: His Mom gave him a joe job, but instead of sandpaper she used a glove full of staples!
Alan: That sucks he just got out a week ago because his dad fucked his ass behind the furnace and he needed stitches
5👍 40👎
The act of one defecating rapidly into a toilet so as to create a splattering effect. A common result of irritable bowel syndrome.
After an eight hour car ride, I had to poop so bad that I Spanish paint jobbed that rest stop toilet!
12👍 3👎