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Flatter than a witch's tit

Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.

Norfolk is a very windy county but that is not surprising -it is flatter than a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.

by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 17, 2005

94👍 22👎


flatter than hammered shit

Can't get any worse.

I've fucked my life up flatter than hammered shit.

by smedley pond June 12, 2010

20👍 4👎


flatter than your momma's chest

An insult used to describe how flat something is.

From the movie Smokey and the Bandit Part 3
(Examining the flat tire on their car)
Junior: It's flat Daddy.
Buford T Justice: Flatter than your momma's chest.

by Turkey Dump January 1, 2016


Not that I'm not flattered...

When someone does something dubious or creepy and you want want to offend them.

Hym "Not that I'm not flattered... But I would like to be paid for that 🤷 I don't think that's unfair. I did always say that I would be narcissistic Superman. And now I am. I am the Homelander and I can do what ever the fuck I want."

by Hym Iam July 13, 2022


Flatter than a desktop

Amelia.

Amelia is flatter than a desktop

by Poopy booty June 16, 2022


prefers the flatter shoe

Lesbian . Gay woman.
Typically the more “masculine” of the relationship, given to the wearing of Doc Martens to complement her crew cut hair and dungarees

I bet that fat skinhead bitch prefers the flatter shoe

by Napoleon BonerPart February 4, 2023


Jamie Flatters

Jamie Flatters, is without a doubt the most amazing and perfect man on this planet.
Kind, super sweet, weird, caring, sexy, energetic, and talented, very talented artist, even if he doesn't recognize it. Is someone who will never let you down and will brighten even your darkest of days. A true gentleman with a pure heart. You will get lost in his eyes. His smile is contagious and you can't help but blush at the thought of him. Trustworthy, the first to apologize, and knows your boundaries. Has a sexy, regal voice that will drive you insane, but that you could spend hours and hours listening to him talk about the slightest thing. He's kind to all he meets, and will make his girlfriend (assuming he's taken) feel like the most important, beautiful girl in the entire universe.
You will love him forever, and never forget him.

Jamie Flatters: *talking very passionated about art, perception, beauty, etc. then stops and smiles* Are you listening to me?

Girl: yeh yeh yeh *blushing aggressively* please continue..

by ~jamieswh0r3 May 20, 2023