Gherkin Lurkin'

The friend who accepts everyone's unwanted Gherkins at McDonalds.

Tom: "I'll have that if you don't want it dude? I know you don't like them"

Joe: "C'mon man, quit your Gherkin Lurkin' and order something"

Surfin' for the gherkin

Surfing the internet to find porn while masturbating

I spent the last hour surfin' for the gherkin.

jerkin'the gherkin

to pleasure oneself by tugging and pulling on one's dick.

while watching Brazilian fart porn i was jerkin'the gherkin.

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nursin' the gherkin

Phrase meaning to perform fellatio. Usually used in a derogatory context. Derivative of jerkin' the gherkin.

Last night I really enjoyed Misty nursin' the gherkin. She is so good when there isn't much to work with.

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Jerkin' the gherkin

Slang for the holy practice of masturbating.

(Ted sees Ed's room is a complete shitstorm of messiness)
Ted: "Ed, have you been Jerkin' the Gherkin?"

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jerking the gherkin

To wordmasturbate./word wordChoke the chicken,/word wordwank,/word word flogging the dolphin./word

We caught John jerking the gherkin.

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Smurfin the Gherkin

When a lady (smurfette) gives a guy a blow job with such enthusiasm she goes blue in the face due to holding her breath/being unable to breath.

Dude, she was so good at blow jobs she never came up for air, she's ace at smurfin the gherkin!