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A rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm dont make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
Jeff: o shit hide the Jehovah's witness are coming
Jehovah's witness: "ding dong"..........those MOTHER FUCKERS!
Bob: that was a close one.
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A person who, despite all efforts to make them stop, refuses to stop calling, showing up, or otherwise attempting to make contact with another person.
After I dumped her, she went all Jehovah's Witness on me.
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The perfect example of why not to open the door to strangers.
I almost wished they were serial rapists when I found out I had opened my door to 2 Jehovah's witnesses.
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The telemarketers of religion.
"Hello my name is..."
*slams door*
"Damn it's those son's of bitches, Jehovah's Witnesses"
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A mispronunciation/misspelling of "Jehovah's Witnesses". Sometimes used as a slur. Jehovah's Witnesses follow the teachings of Christ and obey his command to "preach the good news of his kingdom" (Matthew 28:19,20). In doing so, they are fulfilling the prophecy of Matthew 24:14, before God's kingdom replaces human rulership of the earth. They are often libeled because their message is not popular in Christendom and they are often misrepresented, just as Jesus was. However, accurate information IS available at watchtower.org for those who wish to know the truth.
Jehovah's Witnesses take their name from Isaiah 43:10 - “YOU are my witnesses,” is the utterance of Jehovah, “even my servant whom I have chosen, in order that YOU may know and have faith in me, and that YOU may understand that I am the same One. Before me there was no God formed, and after me there continued to be none."
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I was exposed to the Jehova's Witness "Truth," when I fell in love with a girl that was a witness. Although, I was raised Catholic, I was willing to investigate Jehovah's Witness doctrine believing it was fundamentally Christian. Therin, much to my shergrin I learned of my terrible misjudgement. Firstly, Jehovah's Witnesses claim almost an elitist stance that they are the only religion and that they take nothing away from the bible nor add anything. Secondly, they claim that the material earthly goal one should strive to attain is to live a life that is as Christlike as possible. (That is not only in study, speech but also in action. However, if one observes the practices of this so called religion from an objective, scholastic point of view, they will soon see JW's for what they are a masochistic and spiritually oppressive cult. I hope my personal experiences and observations will shed some light on what I am conveying. It would help to print the Webster definition of cult to illustrate my point.
The girl I fell in love with attended the Eagle Rock, California Jehovah's Witnesss Kingdom Hall and had since she was seven. At eighteen she became pregnant, bore an illegitimate child and received a public reprisal which for layman is a shunning of other members of the congregation. Would not the spirit of Christ inspire said Christians to help this girl emotionally and financially rather than close her out. Even her own family was told to shun her. Now for those of you that do not know JW Kingdom Halls are run by otherwise socially deficient men who oppress the freedoms and voices of women perhaps necessitated by the fact there are alot of beautiful women ussually black or hispanic and really geeky looking guys. Now throughout life young girls are taught that dating, marriage with non-believers (any non JW even if he is a Christian Pastor) or fear public dissfellowship which means the persons personal life is made public and noone in the congregation is allowed to so much as say hello to them. Stron Chrisian compassion huh? These zealots go so far as to put these womens house under surveillance and call at all hours taking away from their freedom. Further, the JW cult ensures for its self preservation by enforcing their will through religion as an all consuming lifestyle by making members attend congregation 6-12 hours a week plus field service. Nontheless girls will be girls and my sexy little JW managed 8 sexual partners in 10 years. Between us I have to say I benefited from the oppression she endured because the way this girl went at it made a Catholic girls look like saints. Needless to say a year into our physical relationship, the geeky old elders found out and publically reprimanded my girlfriend in front of the congregation. Her own family cant talk to her. She has to check in as if she were on parole now. Save yourself from losing you life and your soul. The JWs were created by a nutty guy named Charles Taze Russell less than 100 years ago. They have perverted, disected and miscommunicated the Bible's original message of LOVE. THEY ARE A CULT!!!!! If JW's were not full of bull why does 1/2 their meeting revolve around The WatchTower Publication which is a monthly magazine based on men's views of religious issues in the modern world (The have already predicted the end of the world 3 times-idiots)-In closing JWs are a small group of the world population claiming an esoteric knowledge of God's, demanding compliance by its members by use of fears, preying on the undereducated impoverished of our country/world (38% Latin, 44% Black, 18% white median income $20,240. CULT CULT CULT. Escape from the Watchtower a benevolent loving God will understand he gave you a life of your own to live!!!
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The religion that sends people in suits to your door preaching their version of the bible.
Damn Jehovah's witnesses, I saw two men in suits at my door and microwaved my hard drive.
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