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Jesus

A white American who was born in the Jewish middle east about two thousand years ago when dinosaurs were still walking around the earth because God made the earth in seven days. He was devoutly Republican, and a great friend of Ronald Reagon and George Bush Senior. He enjoyed golfing, the Stock Market, and the occasional damning of a democrat.
He resembled Chuck Norris in such a way that many asked for "his autograph," to be terribly disappointed when he signed it, "Christ."

Q: What would Jesus do?
A: Invade, all the way George. He's practically screaming it.

by JBEandfriends January 23, 2008

463๐Ÿ‘ 394๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus

Jesus is the way to God. He died for all of us and loves us very much.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:16

by Emery Day April 4, 2007

1331๐Ÿ‘ 1137๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

a kid in my english class.

Jesus is mexican but speaks english gooder than me and i was born in america.

by m.m.b.b April 12, 2005

2320๐Ÿ‘ 2170๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

A fictional character created by a cult that developed into Christianity. Jesus is now falsely thought to have existed and some even think he was the son of god... and god.. at the same time. There is no historical evidence, writings or anything about Jesus during the time he supposedly lived. No accounts of Jesus were written until decades after he supposedly ascended into heaven. 30 or more years passed before he was written about, which was about the average life span back then. So how did a whole new generation write about something they didn't even witness for themselves? Don't you think some people would write about Jesus WHILE he was performing these miracles? Mithras Dionysus share VERY similar stories with Jesus and had cults like Christianity. You should not believe anything youโ€™ve just read, but look up the evidence facts, and decide for yourself. Luigi Cascioli has accused the catholic church of falsely saying Jesus existed. They will have to present evidence that he did. If they cannot accomplish this they will no longer be able to say Jesus existed as a fact in Italy. This should be a fairly large blow to christianity.

Follow Jesus or you will burn in hell forever! jk he isn't even real lol.

by FreeThinker2007 August 17, 2007

527๐Ÿ‘ 513๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

One of the good guys.

Apparantly Jesus saves people like Spider-man.

by Flealan July 18, 2006

2177๐Ÿ‘ 2093๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

Mythological Goalkeeper from Nazareth; he probably reached his peak around 27/28 AD.

Jesus saves! ..... Passes to Moses! ...... GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!

by Kenneeeeee January 24, 2008

1628๐Ÿ‘ 1518๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

He is not our savior, he's just a guy with a dirty shirt who tries to sell you tamales in the Walmart parking lot. And when you say no, he offers to fix the dent in your car, or install drywall in your basement.

AKA Haysuse.

Hola, I Jesus. Jew want tamales?

No tamale....... Me do drywall work forjew. Me fix that dent forjew. Me need deniro por new chuse.

by Too-funny September 18, 2009

439๐Ÿ‘ 389๐Ÿ‘Ž