cooch loofah

In the same genre as "douche bag." To be used to describe anyone who, figuratively or literally, rubs your bits the wrong way.

Celeste: "Eddie came home drunk again and couldn't perform. What a cooch loofah."

Prison Loofah

The act of soaping up another inmates beard. Then using said inmates beard like a loofah.

After Tyrone soaped up the inmates beard. Tyrone had the inmate rub up and down his back with his prison loofah.

Spiky loofah

A much more appropriate name for an Echidna

uneducated person: "wow, look at this adorable echidna!"
me: "you mean a Spiky loofah."
uneducated person: "um wtf you crackhead"