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Where you have to take a major dump, but are worried about the outcome.
Dude, that toilet is so clean, I better pinch a loaf
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A phrase commonly screamed at people who are taking way too much time shitting.
"Pinch the loaf" - is where you pinch your turd off in mid-poop, to hurry.
"wipe the counter" - is where you wipe your ass with haste.
Person 1 has been sitting in the bathroom shitting for an hour.
Person 2: "Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter! We have got to get to the meeting!"
Person 1: "ALRIGHT GOD DAMNIT!"
The act of taking a shit in winter in a less than reputable establishment that either doesn't pay the heat bill, or is too fucking cheap to turn it up, in turn, making the porcelain of the toilet so cold that when you shit, it resembles the appearance of a hot loaf of bread being removed from the oven as steam permeates through the bathroom.
"Man, you would have thought that bathroom came with a free bakers hat after pinching that steaming hot loaf in there."
"Yeah, you would pinch a hot loaf in a shithole bar like that."
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A crap that does not require wiping.
Dude, I just pinched the perfect loaf.
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To squeeze one's anal passage while in the process of taking a shit of enormous magnitude, resulting in the log being cut into either two or several chunks.
This would occur if the person was scared, starttled or just needed to hurry up and carry on when they get to a suitable location to finish the job.
Women: "Come back to bed baby."
Man: "Silence sex wench!"
Women: "We can do anal.."
Man: *Starts pinching off a loaf*
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Take a dump. Poop. Defecate. Drop a load. Cut the crap.
A: "ugh, I think I need to pinch off a loaf"
B: "what?! you need to chipoffolo?"
A: "NO DUDE!! I said: PINCH OFF A LOAF!"
B: "Oh (pause) what the hell?"
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Not to be confused with the squirts or explosive diarrhea. A nice solid toilet stopping dump.
Me: Bro I was spitting game at this milf at the bar and she wanted me to come back to her place and watch a movie but damn my tummy was rumbling.
Bro: Oh shit if you Pinch A Loaf and stop up her toilet you better dip out if she doesn’t have a plunger.
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