The Scarf of Sexual Preference

A magical rainbow colored scarf seen in "A Very Potter Sequel" that sorts Hogwarts students into their sexual preference.

The Scarf of Sexual Preference: Metrosexual!

Harry: Have any shoes to match the tie?

Snape: Yes. *hands shoes*

Harry: *Exasperated sigh* I'll make it work.

43👍 4👎

PREFER THE POLE TO THE HOLE

simply put, queer!

Stephan is of the homogenized persuasion...he definitely prefers the pole to the hole!

52👍 8👎

scarf of sexual preference

Ran off with the Sorting Hat the fall of Harry's sophomore year, which is why Ginny wasn't sorted the traditional way. Called Scarfy.

A Very Potter Musical:
"And another very special welcome to our newest addition from Gryffindor, Mr. Ginny, excuse me Mrs. Ginny Weasley."
"Yeah I'm a girl, and um, also aren't we supposed to be sorted by the uh, sorting hat?"
"Well um a funny thing happened to the sorting hat, he actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing. So he and the scarf of sexual preference aren't going to be back until next year."

13👍 1👎

scarf of sexual preferance

the scarf used by hogwarts to determine the sexual orientation of it's students. the scarf also marries the sorting hat. most people when asked where they were sorted will answer where the scarf sorted them before the hat.

After being sorted by the sorting hat and the scarf of sexual preferance:
Harry: 'Hey guys, what did you get sorted as'
Ron: 'Bi-curious'
Hermione: 'Waiting till marriage'

36👍 9👎

Preferred Fatass Parking

The closest non-handicapped, actual parking space to a store. The exceedingly huge park here so as not to have to walk any distance that could be considered exercise. The next step is buying a handicapped placard and rolling around in a wheelchair purely for the sake of escaping fatigue caused from walking more than the 5 feet it usually takes to get to the refrigerator.

FAMF: OMG! LOOK AT THAT SPOT! IT'S CLOSER THAN THE HANDICAPPED PLACE!

Blob o' Fat: QUICK! HIT THAT SHIT!

FAMF: Dude, this is the best Preferred Fatass Parking ever.

Blob o' Fat: Seriously! Now hurry up, I want my fucking triple Quarter Pounder.

40👍 11👎

Elite Preferred Species

Fucking retard. Absolute idiot. Garbage fucking player. Stupid fucking casual. Fatass goddamn human trash ass motherfucking puppy kicking, game of thrones spoiling, waste of oxygen, Instagram simping, TikTok using, asshole.

Karen: Vaccines cause autism
Everyone: Ok, elite preferred species

25👍 17👎

preferred masturbation toy

A guy's preferred masturbation toy can be another dude's asshole or mouth that he fucks and uses to get his rocks off.

I think my asshole and mouth are Matt's preferred masturbation toys!

159👍 225👎