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Phantom Pregnancy

A phantom pregnancy is when someone thinks they're pregnant, when they're actually not. Sort of like a phantom text, when you think you feel your phone vibrate, but it really didn't. You begin to imagine signs of pregnancy, such as morning sickness, irritation towards everything and everyone, the munchies, ect.

Girlfriend: I'm pregnant! I swear I'm pregnant!
Boyfriend: .. That's not possible.
Girlfriend: Yes it is! We've screwed a thousand times!
Boyfriend: It's probably just a phantom pregnancy...
Girlfriend: No! I swear, I am! I think I feel kicking too!
Boyfriend: I'm sterile.

by ZomZomZomZom January 2, 2011

56👍 8👎


Schrodinger’s Pregnancy

When a woman takes two pregnancy tests with one coming up positive and the other negative. Until the woman can visit the doctor, she's both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time creating the comparison with Schrodinger’s Cat.

Kirsty: Great, two pregnancy tests with different results. I have Schrodinger’s Pregnancy here, baby and no baby at the same time.

by WatcherMark May 24, 2019

1👍 2👎


Pocket Pregnancy

The phenomenon that occurs when a man wearing relatively tight/slim pants keeps his phone, wallet, iPod, etc. in his pocket, causing it to bulge out noticeably, so much so that it's often possible to identify the item from its outline alone.

Example #1

*Two coworker friends are talking in the break-room as a third leaves*

Coworker #1: "HAHA ... dude did you see Mike's pocket pregnancy?!?"

Coworker #: "Did I see it?? I'm not blind bro ... I don't understand how he can walk around with that thing ... that's just GROSS!"

Coworker #1: "Yeah and as if that weren't already bad enough you can see clearly that he's still using that iPhone of his ... everyone knows the Evo is better!"

Coworker #2: "Word bro! The iPhone is LAMESAUCE."

Example #2

*Two bros finish having lunch and get up from the table*

Chris: "Holy shit dude I told you last time ... no boners when we're alone together in public!!"

Matt: "Dude calm down ... it's just a pocket pregnancy"

by wxflurry November 3, 2010

15👍 2👎


pregnancy brain

An anecdotal mental state that overtakes women after the first couple months of pregnancy that causes even well composed women to become disorganized and forgetful beyond the any otherwise explainable state. Other than intermittent cognitive lapses, the woman is normally functional. The state is usually temporary, disappearing immediately post-natal but can recur through multiple pregnancies.

Pregnant wife: Honey! Have you seen my car keys? I can't find them.
Husband: I have not seen them but since your car is idling in the driveway I'd assume you left them in the ignition.
Pregnant wife: Grrr. I hate having pregnancy brain!

by Lucius.Fox October 17, 2013

15👍 2👎


Pregnancy Test

The magic wand that can make a man dissappear

Pregnant Girl:James, I took a pregnancy test and it says I'm pregnant.

James:I'm leaving you

by sammydagreat November 11, 2010

84👍 15👎


teen pregnancy

it's hell.

don't do it yo, we all know its fun to get naughty, but be careful if you like freedom. Juno makes it look fun. Thats a lie.

damn, my life is over. Teen pregnancy is bad.

by klbdfsdlfgmk March 27, 2008

411👍 105👎


sweet pregnancy

"Sweet pregnancy" is an exclamation of surprise used in American English. The phrase was coined in 2006 in an office at WVU. It was derived from phrases such as, "Holy shit!" or "Sweet Jesus!", yet it is superior to those considering how pregnancy comes as an unwelcome surprise for many college-age females.

Logan: "There are only 3 cans of Beer 30 left!"
Ben: "Sweet pregnancy! We better get some more."

by Ben000000000000000001 April 25, 2007

16👍 3👎