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A vampire is any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self expression, but they can assume many seductive forms.
1) The pigmy vampire:
Will swarm around you head like gnats and say things like:
"Your teeth need whitening."
"You went to state school?"
"You sound weird."
"Shakespeare, Sondheim, Sedaris did it before you and better than you."
"You cannot sing good enough to be in a musical."
2) The air freshener vampire:
She might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny.
She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating and will urge you to spray it up with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs.
She wants you to clean it up and clean it out which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless, but you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs of kittens that your grandma would be so proud of.
3) The vampire of despair:
It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like:
"Who do you think you’re kidding?"
"You look like a fool."
"No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough."
Sally: My mom won't let me be in Bare just because it curses!
John: Ew, what a vampire!
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n. A person who uses your electronic device to power their electronic device.
v. To plug into another person's device to power your own.
My iPod's dead. I'm going to vampire off your laptop.
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A quality of a vampire.
Such as: awesomeness, coolness, a nibbler, HOTness, orrr freakin sexy teeth!
I'm sooo attracted to your vampirity!
You got me high on your vampirity.
Also known as 'vamphyri'. A mythical, undead, immortal, parasitic monster that feeds on the blood of living humans in order to animate itself. This is done via fangs, or the less-used method sucking the blood through the skin's pores. A single bite can transform the victim into a vampire. Vampires are unable to physically procreate as their bodies remain frozen in time from the moment they become 'undead'. Sunlight is a vampire's mortal (and on occasion fatal) enemy, as vampires are "creatures of the night". Vampires can be killed by sudden or prolonged exposure to sunlight, dismemberment, wooden stakes to the heart, and by fire. A stake must be put through the heart of a vampire's dead victim and their head must be severed from the body, or they return as full vampires. Vampires cannot enter a home without being invited in first. They have no reflection in mirrors. They also cannot cross running water (unless it is in their own homeland). Rumored to be weak against garlic, holy water, and crucifixes. Also rumored to have illusionary shapeshifting abilities as well as the power of flight, mind-reading and hypnosis. May or may not sleep upside down or in coffins.
Such vampires in fictional literary works such as that of Briam Stoker, Anne Rice, Laurell K. Hamilton, Brian Lumley, and John Steakly. See also vampires in works such as Van Helsing, and John Carpenter's Vampires.
(Not to be confused with necrophiliacs, humans with blood fetishes, or delusional high schoolers.)
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Started by Dracula. Raped by Twilight. Thanks Stephanie Meyer. Bitch.
random guy-Dude vampires are the shit!
Random twilight bitch- Oh em jeee!! yuo shuuld reed twilitez
random guy- i shouldn't
random twilight bitch- *starts crying*
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low creatures can't suppress their instincts & lust .. but maybe people like that darkness & loneliness which vampires live in
Vampires
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The action of having sex with a girl while she is actively on her rag then, subsequently, having her go down on you. The blood dripping from the sides of her mouth after this action will cause her to look quite similar to the famous creature of the night.
"What!? She told me she was on her rag!"
"She was, but I used it as an opportunity to try out the vampire."
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