Random
Source Code
Random
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
person1: i think my family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed
24👍 21👎
Something you say when you or your fave team is losing. there is no counter dis to suck my cock , ill murder your family.
this phrase may also be used to rattle complete strangers on the metro.
bitch: i beleive you were traveling good sir.
you:O im terribly sorry.
bitch: yes well its quite alright
you: suck my cock , ill murder your family!
13👍 5👎
Worse than Ur Mom Gay, Ur Dad Lesbian, Ur Granny Tranny, and Ur Grandfather Asexual. If you say this word, you will immediately become a virgin and your left lung will explode. Anyone around you will instantly die and burst into flames. Anyone in a 100-mile radius will feel the effects of Chernobyl and ultimately get their penis chopped off. Anyone outside of THAT will become gay.
Tim: Ur Mom gay
Joe: Ur dad Lesbian
Tim: Ur Granny Tranny
Joe: Ur Grandfather Asexual
Tim: THATS FUCKING IT JOE, I HAD ENOUGH
Joe: NO TIM
Tim: Your whole family tree lgbt
Joe: *Instantly dies and burns*
Random Person: WHERES MY PENIS
59👍 16👎
The worst insult ever, immediately after saying this phrase, the universe fucking explodes
Person 1: Your Mom Gay
Person 2: Your Dad Lesbian
Person 1: Your Granny Tranny
Person 2: Your Grandpap a Trap
Person 1: *inhales deeply*
Person 2: ...
Person 1: Your whole family tree lgbt
Person 2: *fucking dies*
3👍 2👎
Stop wasting time, Set up a meeting with Jesse Vargas to protect your family with life insurance and securities investments.
2👍 4👎
national kill your whole family and everyone on earth day
joke btw dont do it
sometimes you just want to just fucking kill everyone on earth well today you can
september 20th
hey can i kill you
why
because its national kill your whole family and everyone on earth day
OK
4👍 1👎
A random ass auto correct from my phone
I don't know how to put this into a sentence i will be there at being a grammer and i will be there at least it's not only that but i don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time with you and your family a
9👍 3👎