According to the books

When you want to support a fact without expressing any valid reference.

According to the books, Miguel got married in Hungary.

According to Google

Phrase used in response to a random question which could have been easily answered by simply Googling it. Usually after a few quick taps on your phone.

A more polite form of JFGI, but with the same message.

him: I wonder what Zeitgeist means?
her: According to Google, Zeitgeist means "the spirit of the times". And here are the top ten topics searched for last year...

Honda Accord

Simply one of the greatest cars ever created. During the day it’s hands down a great, reliable, efficient and good looking daily driver car
During the night, it’s high power VTEC K series engine is powerful enough to keep up with vehicles on the mountain pass, and also handles great

-I just got a 4:30 time on Akina In my Honda accord!
-Thats Pushin 🅿️

According to Theory

A phrase that can potentially be used at the end of a sentence to potentially be an asshole.

Usually used after a fact or bold statement.

Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "Hey bro! What was the cause of extinction for dinosaurs?"

Asshole: "A large meteorite struck the earth, according to theory."

Or for even the more practical use:

Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "Hey what time does the movie start?"

Asshole: "7:05 according to theory."

Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "No need to be a douche"

Asshole: "Come at me bro!"

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According to Jim

The worst show ever made. John Belushi's talentless brother plays a fat ugly ass slob inexplicably married to a slim blonde model. Literally more laughs in Schindler's List.

Mike: It's 8:00, my favorite show According to Jim is on!
Steve: wtf that show sucks!
Mike: I huff paint fumes and my parents are brother and sister.

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according to script

To go according to plan

How can they say the Iraq Was is not going according to script? There was no plan in the first place

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According to Google

"According to Google" (A2G in txt speech) is what you say when you have used Google to look up the answer to a question someone asks you, or a statement they made that you believe to be false.

1: What is the weather in Cincinnati today?

49 degrees and overcast, According to Google

2: Kristina: 5 km is 3.2 miles

Mike: Actually 5 km is 3.10685596 miles A2G.

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