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my ass in my hands

When youā€™re in a bad situation.

So I was at the gas station right, and a dude points a gun at me and tell me to give me everything you got now! Now iā€™m standing there with my ass in my hands and all iā€™m trying to do is buy my shit and leave.

by joewal June 21, 2022


grab your ass with both hands

To take control of your situation.

Imagine you are stuck and would push ahead with your hands. Now imagine you are grabbing your ass with both hands to push yourself along.

Or grabbing your ass with both hands to lift yourself out of a problem.

Similar to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, except more evocative.

My crisis-prone neighbor was whining about her latest self-inflicted fiasco.

I told her "grab your ass with both hands" and went out for a beer with my friends.

by Billy Nichols June 2, 2011


couldn't find his ass with two hands

Someone who does not have a clue about what is going on around them. A person that has to have jokes explained to them. Even worse, someone that acts as if they don't understand something even when they understand perfectly.

That jerkoff Devlin couldn't find his ass with two hands .

by dempsey4mk July 10, 2006

42šŸ‘ 5šŸ‘Ž


can't hit your ass with either hand

Unable to accomplish tasks.

You were supposed to finish that yesterday! I swear you can't hit your ass with either hand!

by macput1 April 15, 2016


Ass Hands

Elliot.

Did you see Elliot not wash his hands after taking a shit?!
Yeah bro!! Total ass hands!!

by RareIsGarbage May 1, 2017


ass-hand

1. A arm that acutally grows from ones ass. Derrived from a Galidor figure.
2.The ultimate weapon whilest stoned.

"Don't make me whip out the ass-hand!"

by jovato May 13, 2003