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Elvis Conspiracy Theory

The theory that Elvis Presley did not die from taking a shit nor drugs, but instead died from a heart attack after someone found him jerkin his wang. The story is that Elvis Presley had a boner and didn't want it to show, so he told everyone he had to go take a shit and would be back. So he went into the stall, but forgetting to lock the stall's door, he started grasping that pecker. Someone else came in having to take a really bad shit and coincidentally opened the stall door of the stall that Elvis was in. Elvis was so embarrassed that he had a heart attack. Later, Elvis's manager payed off the media to make up a fake story so Elvis wouldn't be thought of as a loser.

Person 1: Dude, it would suck to die getting caught cheating on your wife or jacking off.
Person 2: I read this really weird article somewhere named "Elvis Conspiracy Theory" that said that Elvis Presley died jacking off, that really had to have sucked.
Person 1: Yea, it must've.

by WhiteBlank November 15, 2011

6๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


dale conspiracy theory

when you take two things that have no relation and mash them together

example: if you smoke weed, that must mean you cant drive
ex 2: if you like to party and get drunk, you must have had gay sex

you just put two things that have no relation together in a sentence, thats a dale conspiracy theory.

by rickpocalypse February 13, 2020


911 Conspiracy Theory

Some people believe 911 was a conspiracy theory made by the gouvernment to mislead the people.

Guy 1: So sad what happened on 911
Guy 2: I believe 911 was a Conspiracy Theory made by the gouvernment. It's obvious there is something more to this.
Guy 1: Like what? Aliens?
Guy 2: I think you are onto something.
Guy 1: So it's the 911 Conspiracy Theory?

by dtfe September 12, 2017


Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura

A show revolving around possible government conspiracies, with Jesse Ventura.
And it's the worst comedy show out there.

Jesse Ventura shows how utterly ignorant he is on this show. One minute he's asking questions over and over again to scrawny researchers, and when they answer his question he gives the half assed excuse of "Not allowing him to speak." Jesse's extremely serious "cool-guy persona" is incredibly bleak and blunt.

Jesse believes that the government is responsible for everything, and you'll be damned if you believe otherwise. He actually believes that the John Lennon murder was a conspiracy, 9/11 conspiracy, fuck, even Area 51. AREA MOTHERFUCKING 51. He'd believe anything that you tell him if it involves the government covering it up. I can't wait for him to do a piece on Maddox's "Unfastened Coins: The Titanic Conspiracy" satirical parody on Loose Change.

The biggest fault in all of this is his logic. His logic is along the lines of "Oh, the government did it, but they covered up any proofs!" Good point, fucktard, but guess what: If you claim that this definition of you was really mandated by the government and they covered up any proof of it, I CANNOT argue otherwise. Even if I did come to you face to face.

Did you see Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura today?

Yeah, he totally proved that the Titanic sinking was a conspiracy!

by GodBoognishSatan November 20, 2010

64๐Ÿ‘ 11๐Ÿ‘Ž


Miley Katy Conspiracy Theory

The devil has left Miley Cyrus and entered Katy Perry. Miley's new album is completely different than what work she was doing in the past few years, and she looks different. More laid back and herself. Now Katy has done just what Miley was doing.

Miley Katy Conspiracy Theory

by urbanrae June 16, 2017


Binge Conspiracy Theory - BCT

A binge is an event in which a group of people gather in a house to take a high volume of drugs and / or alcohol and generally get off their tits.

A binge conspiracy theory is an event in which something strange, obscure or mysterious happens. Due to the lack of sleep and / or generally being fucked, the congregation of people have to discuss the events (often making jokes) to deduce theories as to what has happened in reality and who has caused it.

The 'strange mysterious event' is often something extremely simple caused by someone misplacing an object, but the confusion is intensified by everyone being off their heads.
Binge conspiracy theories are often shortened to the initialism 'BCTs'

For Example
Binge Conspiracy Theory - BCT:
Someone empties a full bottle of cordial into a jug, leaves the jig and takes the bottle. Everyone then notices but the culprit could be anyone in the room, and the group have to create theories as to what the fuck has just happened.

by liamisg March 7, 2012

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


The Conspiracy Theory Against Muffins and Cupcakes

Many people like to say that muffins are ugly cupcakes.
This is my theory:
It is not that muffins are ugly cupcakes, but that cupcakes are altered and frosted muffins. The dye on them refers to tanning and the frosting refers to an excess amount of makeup. Cupcakes are whores in the muffin world, while muffins are pure and natural.

Now tell me, whose the ugly dessert now?

Belle: Muffins > Cupcakes
Monica: Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
Jared: Actually, cupcakes are just altered muffins with makeup on. I call this the conspiracy theory against muffins and cupcakes.
Belle: So cupcakes are whores?
Jared: That would be weird because cupcakes are inanimate objects. But yes, exactly.

by Jared Stein & Belle Miranda February 11, 2012