Delinquent O'Crimebag Department

A shorthaired ginger kiwi GAWD of a feline who was rescued from the SPCA by a prophe--err, *lady* named Jessa Mine who initially passed him up but was haunted by his unique features which include but are not limited to: a dapper ginger countenance, disproportionate head-to-body ratio, abnormally fluffy cheek-poofs, squinty urine-colored eyes & an overbite that won't quit.

He quickly developed an online cul--err, FAN CLUB with well over 20,000 devotees that follow & make over his every move. Legend has it that his mother was an alley cat and his father a weasel but this remains to be confirmed. Goes by "Deli" for short. Also referred to as "that misshapen shitweasel, " "150-watt disappointment" or simply "unhinged".

"Did you see the new SPCA calendar?"

"Yeah, His Holiness Delinquent O'Crimebag Department got September thru December again. Blessed be."