A law from the Book of Geiger which states "You are bigger than it."
That is, in any given situation, the largest of all present variables succeeds regardless of all other factors.
"Gross, there's mold on this bread."
"Nah you're safe, Geiger's Law bro!"
A device designed to count geigers.
Distressed Farmer: I'm worried that last NATO airstrike contaminated my topsoil.
Serbian Rescue Worker: We better count the geigers then, someone get us a geiger counter!