Angry Lifeguard

The act of getting fellatio in a pool, and after reaching climax drowning your girlfriend. You then call for the lifeguard to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation, and eventually, she will cough up the ejaculate into the lifeguard's mouth. He will then be pretty angry.

Jim: Yo dude! You see that lifeguard puking up semen!

Sean: Yeah man, he must have gotten the old angry lifeguard.

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Lifeguard moment

That moment when you notice people who should not have had kids but did anyways, and say "Hey! You! Out of the gene pool!"

"Oh my god, did you see that woman changing a diaper right in the middle of the Wal-mart?"
"Total lifeguard moment, right?"

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lifeguard dat hoe

When a girl is giving you a blow job in a hot tub or pool, you hold her down below the water until you cum in her mouth as she drowns. Then call the lifeguard over to give her mouth to mouth and laugh as he swallows your cum.

Stephen: Did you lifeguard dat hoe
Christian: Yeah, she was chocking up water
Stephen: lol, thats hillarious

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Philadelphia Lifeguard

(n) someone who probably isn't qualified to do the job and only got it because no one else would do it.

Person 1. "This schmuck doesn't know what he's doing."
Person 2. "He must be a Philadelphia Lifeguard"

lifeguard business

A term used for when a lifeguard has sex with his patient on the beach instead of saving them

i saw a lifeguard doing "lifeguard business" at the beach!

John Lifeguard

A famous lifeguard out of Long Island, NY. Due to his time in service, he invented the notorious lifeguard skip, used by lifeguards all around the world as a more effective method to perform a rescue.

-"Have you heard about the famous lifeguard John Lifeguard?"
-"Yeah man, that dude was rad. The lifeguard skip is so fast."

Lifeguard

An employee who works at an aquatic facility that provides standard care for Adults, Teens, toddlers, infants, etc. They also rescue swimmers that require urgent help. Requirements: Age- 14+ 14: Pool attendant- Respectionest and slide attendent 15+ Lifeguard, In high school, CPR and first aid certified, Passed Lifeguard swim test. here are the steps of training as a lifeguard:

1) Minimum age: 15 years.
2) Swim 300 yards continuously using the breast or front crawl.
3) Tread water for 2 minutes using only the legs.
4) Complete a timed event within 1 minute, 40 seconds. ...
Surface dive to a depth of 7 to 10 feet to retrieve a 10-pound object.

Trainee: Hey, im gonna go train to be a lifeguard!
Person #2: Okay! Have fun!
Trainee: Okay! I will text or call you and tell you how it went!
Person #2: Got it!