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noun. a paragraph in instant message format that takes a great deal of time to be typed, causing the reader of said paragraph to be bombarded by words all of a sudden.
Bobby (2:26:59 AM): so how was your day?
Jeff (2:27:59 AM): not too bad, yours?
Bobby (2:31:32 AM): Well my morning started off fine, but then I saw Jimmy over at the waffle house with Sally. I wasn't about to join them, so I had to drive all the way across town to go to the other one. After that I went to work, where on my lunch break I had to go get my tire fixed at the walmart just down the road. I got off at like 7:30, ate dinner with my family, got a shower, met up with the crew for a bit, then now I'm here getting ready to go to bed.
Jeff (2:32:12 AM):ohh shit, nice paragraph bomb
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A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.
All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").
My teacher is making me write a five-paragraph essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too boring.
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An english essay that is the result of no sleep, no prior planning, or blanking on an in class essay with a result of a full five paragraph essay without any really topic or thesis behind it.
Person one: man I have no idea what I was just writing about on that in class essay. I think it might have just been a five paragraph ramble
Person two: aw sucks bro
I don't like it, I never liked it, and if this is all you're gonna text me over summer after radio silence from you then first and you, Rosie, e.t.c had be to be so absorbed in my romantic life, my personal life, my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE, you had to find pictures of me from YEARS AGO, FUCKING YEARS, to bring back and show me and everybody else because i was so fucking ugly and so fucking fat you guys couldnt just keep the shit ñto yourselves, everybody had to see, everyone had to know what i looked like in 5th to 6th grade having as much fun as possible, I wanted to make memories so I took pictures of myself making those memories, but for the same reason of you ass hats i stopped taking those pictures, my camera roll is purely screenshots, i dont take pictures of myself anymore because of people like yall, alright now I know I went on a tangent but this has been sitting in me for a while and now you out of the blue send me that shit, kinda makes me mad yknow? But really, don't text me, ask me to hop on house party, call me on here, e.t.c, ANY way of contacting me, if this is all you are gonna send
Kevin sends you a big ass paragraph like this when he fucking hates you
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A non-literal phrase one uses to intimidate or coerce a victim into believing that the victim's mom was or will be used in a such a way that only shmad words in paragraph format can describe how it went.
"Ayoo nigga you be talkin' so much shit, I swear I'm about to put your mom in a paragraph."
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Rule 86 Paragraph 4 of the Man Code states, "If an adequately attractive female is within your presence, you are obligated to ask to view said female's breasts."
"Hello Miss. By Rule 86 Paragraph 4 of the Man Code, you are adequately attractive, and as such, may I view your breasts?"
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You may never talk to another bros girl even if she is fine with it
Nah bro bro code page 67 paragraph 3 rule 3