slower than snail snot on a winter day

Something running very slow
slow moving person

Your moving slower than snail snot on a winter day

slower than a tax rebate

In Ireland - a term used to describe or to ridicule a useless person/apprentice on a building site.
(As suggested, a tax rebate takes some time in Ireland)

"Hurry the fuck up and mix up that mortar, you're slower than a tax rebate!"

slower than a sack of shit moving down the runway

Literally, slower than a sack of shit moving down the runway.

Why the fuck is my computer slower than a sack of shit moving down the runway!?

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