spit shined

Using ones own saliva to give something, or someone (if you're into that) a shine that's so lustrous it makes Jesus himself turn away from its blinding reflection.

"Hey Tom, how'd you get your car so shiny?" "I can't even see."
"I spit shined the shit out of it and it really paid off."

spit shined

Unbelievably clean.

Joe's new Lambo was sitting there spit shined in his driveway.

spit shined

An object that is most likely brighter than your future.

That man spit shined his shoes till they were brighter than my balls dipped in Vaseline.

south texas spit shine

During middle aged gay male sex one man blows his load on another man's balding head and uses a sham wow to shine it.

When I get out of this Miata I am going to give Leron the old South Texas spit shine