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Something everybody should learn when they're ten seconds old
The absolute value of 29 is 29 because 29 is equal to 29
An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
Someone who has a skinny frame with ginger hair.
Person 1: fuck off lad I'll stab ya
Person 2 : oh Ben mate stop being an absolute peckhead
when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.
the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.
'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'
"Hey did you try Absolute Andrew?"
"Nah man, I prefer Absolute Ashley."
Very cold, an exaggeration referencing the absolute zero, the lowest temperature possible.
"It is absolutely cold this morning. I can't even feel my nose anymore!"
Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting
Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.