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Lung Cancer

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make.

Person: *Opens na noor* do you have lung cancer?
Walter: My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make.

by Fortnite Rule 34 June 8, 2023


Window Cancer

sad affliction befalling Russian operatives who cross Putin, for which there is no cure

Sergei Lukmanov, Russian billionaire with 9 yachts and 16 vacation homes, "earned" his billions via oil & gas in Russian region of Siberia. After Putin invaded Ukraine and committed countless atrocities Vlad needed scapegoats so Sergei accidentally tripped and fell out a 20-story building in the latest occurrence of stage 4 Window Cancer. sad.

by Uncle Joosie April 25, 2022


ChokeOut Cancer

ChokeOut Cancer in a Non-Profit Organization dedicated to the fight against Cancer. Who better to fight Cancer than top MMA Athletes from around the world. www.facebook.com/chokeoutcancer
www.youtube.com/chokeouttv
www.twitter.com/chokeoutcancer
www.aboutme.com/chokeoutcancer

Join us in the fight to ChokeOut Cancer.

by Youssefpour November 21, 2011


Cancer diet

A new diet where you get stage 4 cancer, and lose all the weight in 2-3 months, depending on the prognosis.

I just went on the cancer diet; can’t wait to show off my rockin casket Bod.

by arnie123 January 30, 2019


Cancer Cookie

Those perfect looking soft sugar cookies that you can find at many US based grocery stores. They are called Cancer Cookies because in order to achieve their perfectly consistent flavor and appearance, they are made strictly from top secret chemicals. The chemicals are know to cause cancer, therefore these sugar cookies are dubbed "Cancer Cookies".

- Person 1: "I love eating these Cancer Cookies."
- Person 2: "It really has never tasted better to be terminal."

by Hatr369 December 13, 2022


Cancer Enhancer

a machine found in most doctor offices that blasts a concentrated beam of high power X-ray radiation at you for a solid ten minutes giving you cancer.

patient: hey doc can I take a trip to the cancer enhancer?
doctor: alright man, what type of cancer do you want?

by Romanfowl September 2, 2020


Skanky Cancer

skanky cancer is a type of cancer caused by getting around too often

Kylie O has skanky cancer from the party the other night

by Hottub169 April 29, 2019