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Magic Vagina
Noun;
The female sexual reproductive organ of a femme fatale that male victims are unable to get out of their system.
Females/they/them's with a magic vagina will experience their suitors and conquests unable to get over them. As such these lost souls will keep returning unable to move on with their lives.
Similarly hypnotic in nature as the call of the Siren to shipwrecked sailors, the magic vagina's hold over its victim is compelling and total.
"Have you heard any more from Basil since you two broke up, Clare?"
"He keeps messaging, sending flowers, and calling me at work, Dan - it's like he's totally obsessed."
"Really? It was three years ago, I don't know why he can't move on - it's like you have some kind of magic vagina, or something!"
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Dental vagina is a term for a castrating woman and her way of demeaning males.
Juanita was an angry woman with a dental vagina.
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you are a vagina.
You're calling me a vagina?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's too good for you.
What you are is...
vagina adjacent.
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When you're naked and playing with your hamster or other small rodent and it decides, against your permission, to crawl inside of your vagina and not come out until forced. Sometimes, it will have a sexy adventure.
Oh no!!! My hamster is inside of my vagina!!! I think I have hamster vagina! Help!
An elaborate sexual maneuver involving weeks of preparation and a large initial cost investment (should be avoided by all but the most committed and enthusiastic individuals). Supplies needed: octopus, gym membership, a fun-loving and adventure-seeking spirit, more lube than you've ever used in your life, an on-site surgeon (in case of disaster) and Grimm's Book of Fairy Tales.
Instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus-- preferably a Caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common Octopus vulgaris will do.
3) *ANIMAL CRUELTY INVOLVED IN THE FOLLOWING STEP* De-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. Preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) Read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most fucked-up of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Excellent choices include Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel & Gretel.
4) For every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner's genitalia with the tentacles.
5) Repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) Afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one's vagina! THE VAGINA CARTWHEEL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT THIS PROCESS.
THIS SEXUAL MANEUVER IS ILLEGAL IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES AND PUERTO RICO.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
"My, what large teeth you have!" *gasp of horror* *slapping noise*
"Hey, I hear Henry F. is super-into Vagina Cartwheels!"
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when a girl is on top riding her partner's penis and all of a sudden it slips out and she goes back down on it when the penis is not lined up to insert itself into the vagina therefore hitting the bone and creating a vicious bend of the penis causing pain to the dick area
So last night was really good until she vagina stomped me.
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This happens when you get really horny and a nerve in your vagina jumps
Jaclyn: "yesterday David was over my house kissing my neck "
Rachel:" did you do anything with him "
Jaclyn: "No...i was so horny I was getting heartbeats in my vagina "
Rachel: "Vagina heartbeats!!"
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