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The Christmas Delivery

Once the man passes the point of no return he man shouts 'Come dasher come dancer come prancer come vixen, come comet come cupid come dunder come blixem' and as he sprays his messy load he punches her in the nose and shouts 'guide my sleigh tonight'

Last night the Christmas delivery arrived and now my wife needs a nose job

by Fogt December 17, 2017


Christmas Blizzard

A sexual act completed in or around the Christmas period: after a person completes the act of fellatio, keeping the resulting semen in his or her mouth, the sucker then stands to be face to face with the suckee; the sucker then puffs their cheeks, mumbles "Christmas Blizzard!" or "Merry Christmas!", then slams their puffed cheeks with their palms, resulting in the semen spraying into the face of the suckee, not unlike a blizzard occurring in or around the Christmas period in the northern hemisphere.

"Santa Claus was highly surprised when Mrs Claus performed a Christmas Blizzard after Santa's post-present delivery blow job."

by CBEnthusiast April 25, 2014


Christmas Kiddie

Someone who is very bad at something, and is assumed to have only had the game or device since the previous Christmas.

In skill, similar to a garbo lobster or a bad kid.

Pro: Wow, Christmas Kiddie. What color wrapping paper was your Xbox wrapped up in?

by AlfabetSoop June 5, 2007


Swiss Christmas

when a schizophrenic male comes into your home and collects all of your personal belongings, removes photos from their frames, and then proceeds to sort them into color coordinated piles. finally the male calls for the family to gather and begin the celebration, all taking place at an obscure hour of the night.

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I wanted to surprise y’all with a nice Swiss Christmas.

by November 28, 2020


Christmas Nigger

Term for a neighborhood burgler who steals things from peoples yards or garage at night during the holidays.

My yard would have gotten first place for Holiday decor but the Christmas Nigger struck again!

by Muskoxe January 18, 2007

62πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


Christmas Jew

A person who's family is Jewish, perhaps culturally Jewish more than religiously Jewish, and who follows the more secularized traditions of Christmas -- such as: decorating one's house with Christmas decorations, putting up a Christmas tree, pretending that Santa exists for the kids, etc.

He puts up a Christmas tree and lights a Menorah! What a Christmas Jew.

by Cranky And Tired December 24, 2006

27πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


Christmas creep

1. Universally hated, market driven phenomenon that if left unchecked will eventually culminate in an uninterrupted decade of concatenated carol medleys, closely followed by a glorious moment of frantic arson destroying every Christmatastasized mall in America.

2. Any one of the marketing executives responsible for it.

1. If it weren't for this gol-danged Christmas creep, I wouldn't be listening to "Jingle Bell Rock" on the Fourth of July!

2. If I ever get my hands on one of those Christmas creeps, I'll tie him to a chair and make him listen to "O Christmas Tree" until he screams for mercy.

by Boingerschleimer December 23, 2006

81πŸ‘ 25πŸ‘Ž