Emu Tax

Emu Tax is a quite common form of (you guessed it) taxation.

Although its never on an invoice, you can't claim it back and the government certainly don't use it to fund the needy.

This tax usually takes a dishonest form and is charged at a quite fluctuating percentage and is charged by people ( EMU's ) who have offered petty services to you as a 'friend'. This charge is placed on top of the actual price in order to reimburse the 'EMU' for completely wasting your time and talking to you about its belonging to the 'top 3%' club.

Now for most people, I probably just lost you, but the moral here is...

If you have a TIGHT ARSE 'friend' that stands over 6 feet tall and thinks he's god's gift to the manufacturers of XXXL condoms, don't ask him to get you a quote on ANYTHING because you guessed it...

EMU TAX

PS. We have found the best weapon for evading emu tax is indeed eggs...

EMU : "Mate that speedo will be 500 bucks"...

Emu Hunter : " But i just saw it for 450"

EMU : " Gotta pay for my XXXL condoms some how, I am in the top 3% you know... 8.04 inches..."

Emu Hunter : " FUCKIN EMU TAX"...

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Cat Tax

The cat tax is the requirement to post cute pictures of your cat when you mention them on the internet.

Prima: "My cat is so sweet! She claws me in the face when her bowl is empty."

Segunda: "You forgot to pay the cat tax."

Prima: "My mistake! Here is a picture of my jerk cat."

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asshole tax

a tax added to one's subtotal of a bill, who generally acts like an asshole. this usually works because most assholes aren't willing to do their math.

"That guy was pissing me off, so I charged him asshole tax."

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Tax that ass

To have rough but enjoyable sex with someone; wanting to have sex

Shawty bad as hell, if she let me fuck Ima TAX that ass

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Apple tax

the steeper price paid for Apple products in comparison to the equally effective products of competitors.

The Apple tax hits users in the wallet.

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Cum Tax

Cum tax is the tax rate put onto an individual's cum based on the value it holds because of its Cum Valuation. Instead of being taxed real money, you are taxed in excess cum.

Sarah: wow william you lost a lot of cum after the Cum Tax

William: i feel dead inside

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Cunt tax

The drinks you have to buy a chick before you get any

fucking hell i had to pay an 8 vodka and coke cunt tax lastnight before i got any

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