Random
Source Code
Random
Dunne disease can be found in almost any type of person, young or old, excluding crack heads. It is characterized by overwhelming lethargy, or, more specifically, the inability to do anything productive, especially if it involves moving. Often the devastating slothfulness is also accompanied by an even more grating constant complaining. When it is present it almost always has to do with the affected persons needs, such as food or water, which that person simply cannot meet themselves.
Dunne disease is normally fatal only because those affected with it will starve to death, or be killed by the people around them who’ve grown tired of their fucking bullshit attitude and constant whining.
Person 1: OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD I"VE BEEN BITTEN BY A KING COBRA! GET THE ANTIDOTE! I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS!
Person 2: I don't know, it's way over on the counter and i'm really tired.
Person 1: MY LEGS ARE TURNING PURPLE! EVERYTHING IS GOING BLACK! I CAN'T SEE, OH GOD, I CAN'T SEE!!
Person 2: Jesus, stop yelling, I'm really tired. The medicine is pretty far away, i guess i'll get you it sometime tommorow probably.
Person 1: ...
2 Weeks later
Person 2: Man, why does it smell so bad in here? ...HEY, CAN ANYONE GET ME A SANDWICH? HELLO?
18👍 8👎
A sub-variant of Unwarranted Self Importance (USI) widely seen among the Internet-going population. Became common once everybody from your Grandma to your kindergarten teacher realized they could create a blog/Facebook page/YouTube channel where they could inflict their opinions on those unlucky enough to wander by with zero consequences or monetary cost.
In days past, the disease was restricted to ranting street preachers, and was limited by factors such as the price of soap-boxes and copy paper, and the generally low levels of give a shit present in the pre-Internet population
Symptoms consist of:
1) assuming that people on the Internet like you and the things you say, when most are actually indifferent at best
2) projecting your narrow interests on to people who don't share them, then confusing their bored silence for approval
3) producing content which focuses mostly on shallow appeals for approval, instead of actually informing, challenging or entertaining
4) cultivating a small clique of like-minded Internet goers, which (despite representing a microscopic fraction of the population as a whole) you then cite as proof that you're "kind of a big deal"
Treatment includes:
1) deleting the offending Facebook/YouTube/blog pages
2) re-connecting with real life friends and family over shared activities
3) rediscovering that nobody on the Internet really cares that much about your life, your cat, or what you had for dinner today (even the people that say they do)
Doctor: "Yes, I was afraid of this...it's Blogger's Disease. And a bad case, too. I've seen it a hundred times."
Patient: "My God, is there any cure?"
Doctor: "Yes there is... but I'm afraid you won't like it. It might require you to be less of a douche. It may require you to interact with the physical world. Are you prepared to handle it?
Patient: "Whatever it takes, Doctor."
Doctor: *smashes laptop to pieces with a hammer*
6👍 1👎
A disease where the person infected is a sad sloppy bitch that cuts themselves every night
DAMN BRO AJ HAS VOLSTAD DISEASE
5👍 1👎
A condition of the face where your eyebrows are far darker than your hair.
Alistair Darling has a severe case of Darling's Disease.
5👍 1👎
An ailment where there are too many of one thing in an assortment of different things.
First defined by programmers at Maxis when creating Sim City 3000, where a certain building (usually a Lick's Ice Cream Shop) would appear in large nmbers on the map.
"This bag of assorted truffles has Lick's disease, there's too many caramel ones."
7👍 2👎
Altoids Disease is the cause of sudden lapses in higher brain function causing moments of mild to severe, both physically and mentally, retarded actions. This disease was first noted in 2002 during a mild bout of hypochondria, when it was suggested that the only thing wrong was the person was they were suffering from extreme stupidity,, thus Altoids disease was born.
When you do something very dumb for no apparent reason you are suffering the effects of Altoids Disease. This can be something as simple as tripping over your own feet,, to doing anything cause it seemed to be a good idea at the time.
7👍 2👎
A way to describe someone covered with big red blotches from neck sucking/kissing/biting.
Hey Natalie check out your boyfriend's neck disease. Someone must of had fun last night!
7👍 2👎