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Random
A joke so sinister in its banality that it would cause any person nearby to suddenly revert to silence, and shudder.
Person: hey Simon, i heard you went out on the weekend.
Simon: yeah, with your mother! for a one night stand!
a long silence where everyone looks anywhere but at Simon.
Person: so you went alone to a movie
Simon: ............yes
19👍 7👎
v. To be struck in the head with a baseball and consequently perish.
Person 1: Did you just see that kid's mom?
Person 2: That dyke just got Simon Birch-ed
Person 1: Are you going to the funeral?
Person 2: No.
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*Woman gets hit in the head with a baseball*
Woman: DOH!
*Woman dies*
Birched.
Tom Simons (tommyinnit) is a youtuber, twitch streamer, he usually plays in the DreamSmp!
“Have u seen Tom’s new vlog?”
“Who’s again?”
“Tom Simons?”
“Oh yeah! Was it the trampoline vlog?”
“Yeah! They fell alot!”
help me im dying
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cry of fear has some sweet simon drugs
A friendly jew who is often nervous and has an insatiable appetite for porn. He regularly will be found in a suit and is in the process of taking over american banking.
wheres jordan simon? hes in his room masterbating
Cannabis, also known as marijuana,weed, bud, sticky icky among many other names, refers to any number of preparations of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug or for medicinal purposes.
Feelin' some don simon?
Smoked some don simon last night, it was the shit.
Simon Belfer is a very successful businessman, he specialises in financial jobs, usually in high up position. He lives with his family in Edinburgh, wife and three kids.
Simon Belfer, what a wonderful man