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A novel containing an over-used plotline and has absolutely no originality. It's popularity is comparative to that of the Harry Potter and Girls Gone Wild series, while most of the GGW fans find themsleves more turned on by Hagrid than anything from Twilight. Please note that any female aged 9 - 68 has a 96.1% chance on creaming themselves if they see a Twilight poster. You have been warned.
That book Twilight was a cheap knockoff combination of Underworld and Mama Mia.
97👍 173👎
Twilight is absolute literary trash that needs to be wiped from the face of the earth, however it has managed to make several previously sane girls become absolute idiots. Why? I'll tell you. It's not that Edward is just "soooo hawwt" that they just can't forget him and want to hump him, as perverted as humping a 107 year old stone that sparkles sounds. The draw is in the fact that every girl wants to be loved in a *SIMILAR* fashion to the way Edward claims to love Bella. Every girl fantasizes about someone who will (1) Profess their undying love for you without any thought to who's around (2) Swoop in and rescue you from the 'bad guy' (3) Admit that they would die for you...etc etc, the list goes on. Now I'm not saying that this is the ultimate guy, but can you honestly say that you NEVER wanted a knight in shining armor to show up and sweep you away?
That's the draw for the Twitards, even if they don't realize it. Call it the prince charming effect. And the absolutely bland characters? That just makes it easy for said Twitards to insert themselves and their own fantasy man into the roles. If you look at other vampire romance novels, like Christine Feehan's Dark series, you get the same prince charming effect, except these women have brains, back bones, and lives of their very own and the men have real respect for the women as well as their own power. Yeah, there's still a ridiculous age gap, but the youngest woman involved is in her mid twenties and legal anyway.
Summary of decent vampiric romance novel:
Woman: You scare me, back the f*** off and leave me alone.
Man: Please, listen to me. Explains.
Woman: That's supposed to make me think you're OK? Leave!
Bad thing attacks.
Woman: WTF! I told you to leave me alone. That never would have happened if you had.
Man:Yes it would. Explains.
Woman: Fine you can stay but you're sleeping outside.
Then they eventually fall in love after a reasonable amount of time where they have earned each other's respect, with a few spicy scenes.
Twilight
B: You're a vampire. You drink blood. COOL!
E: HATE ME!!!!
B: I love you
E: I love you too even though I want you to hate me.
Bad thing attacks
B:I love you. Stay with me!
E: ok
Minus all remotely interesting scenes
See the difference?
4👍 3👎
Originally a book
that people did not fucking read
Until some dude or duddett decided too make a movie about it and made every one a fake,a hypocrite, a follower
Get this trough your fucking thick skulls
the book is old and if you barely reading it and saying that you love it cuz of the movie then fuck off
Its a Virus a Epidemic >:(
dude he just Twilight his pants :(!
27👍 41👎
A captivating book by Stephenie Meyer, but a bit in the blue about the muddled description of vampires. I'm guessing that she either did not research vampires and vampirism carefully or did not care about the myth-facts, for there were several gaping plot holes throughout the book. Also, it took several exact elements from Anne Rice's book The Vampire Lestat, my point being the trite unoriginality of Edward and Bella's relationship and the too exact similarities between Edward Cullen and Lestat DeLioncourt. The precursor to the sequal New Moon.
"You are exactly my brand of herion. . . " - Edward Cullen, Twilight.
"This is a. . . .um. . . . *big* Jeep you have," Isabella Swan, Twilight.
131👍 251👎
(n.) a book created by Stephenie Meyer, focusing on the characters Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.
Most of the people who have given this book's fan base a bad name are the never-readers. These are the people who didn't read it until after watching the movie. These are the whiny tween fangirls who gush about how "like, O M E Edward is so hot and I'm going to marry him some day and he'll love me forever because I'm better than Bella Slut-face and then I'll be a vampire and oh my Robbie Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are so awesome I love run-ons!"
The actual fans of the book live in reality, and are more supportive of the side characters that are more interesting and less cliche- for example, Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice.
Also, the true fans laugh along when twilighter jokes are made. We laugh, we TELL these jokes, and we READ OTHER F***ING BOOKS. That's right, girls and boys. There are other book's out there! Try Ender's Game, try Sword of Truth, try Harry frickin' Potter! Just move on already! Stephenie Meyer has a different- and far better- book out, you know. Or if you want something very different, try Jodi Picoult! I don't care! Just shutthef**up and MOVE THE HELL ON!
YOU ARE NOT A FAN IF YOU ONLY READ THIS ONE SERIES!
You have nothing else to compare it to, therefore you can NOT say it is the best! You are not a fan, you are a groupie!
Fangirl: "OME can you name a better book in the world than Twilight or any of it's prequels? I don't THINK so!"
Fan of Books: "Um, I think you mean sequels, and actually, while Twilight is a good story, there are many that are far better. Here read this."
Fangirl: "Like, what IS this. Ah! Big words!"
Fan of Books: "Um, well, the title is on the--"
Fangirl: "Shuddup! I shun you, you suck! (Oooh suckvampirebloodEdwardRobertPattinson I WILL RAPE YOU!!)
14👍 19👎
A poorly written series about a sparkly mosquito who falls head-over heels in love with a thoughtless uninteresting girl. Incidentally, written by a stay-at-home mom who *probably watches soap operas all day* had a dream about a sparkling vampire and thought she'd write it down with help from her dictionary as she inserts as many "intelligent" words in one sentence as humanly possible, with no regard for actual structure or wordiness.
She needed a few bucks, so she sent it in to a publisher, after she decided to build on the story (minimally- she has no creativity) and do a rip off idea of Vampire Diaries, with the exception that her vampires sparkle- in which, nobody really cares that this makes no sense; being that vampires should have some sort of weakness. Identifying them because they sparkle does not give the rest of the world much of a chance, does it? In which case, the case should be that most of the world are vampires, because who would stand a chance against a super fast, blood-sucking creature that can come out at all times of the day?
There's no plot point, substance or character development. Basically, It's like the perfect Teenage scenario, in which your parents are so clueless you can do anything you want!
Definition: "Twilight" is the bleakness of the mind. The utter lack of judgment of the people buying this tripe.
Twilight readers would think the following good literature: Today I woke up, instead of not waking up, which sometimes happens I guess. I gazed into the mirror, gazing at all of my flaws that I saw in the mirror. I was getting older, I was quite sure that those wrinkles had not been there the night before when i had been with Edward-- I knew that there was no way Edward would even care about me if I was old and ugly- he preferred perfect looking girls. Perhaps it was my longing for him, that had caused my forehead to crease so, or perhaps because pale skin wrinkles more... Of course, Edward wouldn't care that I was ugly, just so long as I smelled good. Besides, perhaps the day would come when another weird and strange boy would invite me all alone to go walk into the woods, so that we could lay in the flowers, and that's it. I decided not to go to school, because education is not important. I knew in my heart, my soul, that I was Edward's slave forever. The thought of worshiping and giving my whole life for him was extremely appealing. Dad, mom, her boyfriend, my non-entity friends and Jacob didn't matter. I was forever, and irrevocably his, for all eternity.
3👍 2👎
The story of an emotionally disturbed girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality, with pedophilic undertones.
Edward: Ancient Vampire.
Jacob: Werewolf.
Bella: Human girl.
Bonus: Jacob falls in love with Bella's baby... While it's still a baby.
Twilight is the product of a seriously repressed mind.
3👍 2👎