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An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
"Hey did you try Absolute Andrew?"
"Nah man, I prefer Absolute Ashley."
Very cold, an exaggeration referencing the absolute zero, the lowest temperature possible.
"It is absolutely cold this morning. I can't even feel my nose anymore!"
Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting
Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.
when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.
the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.
'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'
he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick
he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick
A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.
"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"