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Chuck Norris

The most powerful man in the world save one, the person who defeated him in mortal combat upon the slopes of mount olympus. The Incarnate of Zues, king of the gods, known only as Souther, managed to dodge one of Chuck Norris'
roundhouse kicks, and punched him in the face, defeating him. However even though it was mortal combat, Chuck Norris still lives, and Souther was so impressed with his god-fighting abilities that he retired from fighting, and became a latin teacher.
(There is also some speculation that this "Souther" was Chuck Norris in disguise and moved so fast that it apeared to observers that there were two people.)

Student: "my teacher fought Chuck Norris and won"
Uninformed Student: "No, nobody can beat Chuck Norris"
Student: "no, for real, they trained at the same dojo, and my teacher beat him in a spar"
Uninformed Student: "no way! He'd have to be like Zeus or something"
*Uninformed Student explodes because he is simultaniously hit by a lightening bolt and Chuck Norris, who greatly respects the only man to ever defeat him*

by KadanJoelavich October 25, 2006

9๐Ÿ‘ 69๐Ÿ‘Ž


Carlos Ray Norris

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris was born in 1940, the year of the Dragon. His name that he is most commonly referred to is Chuck Norris, the man who many people consider a God. His counterpart is Asian-American Bruce Lee, who was born the exact same year. Carlos, or "Chuck" is most known for his ROUND-HOUSE kicks and his many other impossible feats. In real life, Chuck Norris has the highest degree of Black Belt in Tai kwon do, being the first white man to achieve this status

Guy 1: Hi Carlos Ray Norris!
Norris: *roundhouse kicks him* I don't like smartasses....

by 64hyp64 October 26, 2009

28๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


chuck-norris-sure

used when one is completely sure about something

A: what time does the bus leave?
B: At 5:25
A: Are you sure?
B: Yes.
A: Are yo chuck-norris-sure?
B: Yes

by Vineberg D. January 28, 2012


Fear of Chuck Norris

See logic.

"I am so scared of Chuck Norris!"

"Nobody blames you, man, fear of Chuck Norris is everybody's phobia"

by Chris Grendale December 3, 2013

10๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

the physical embodiment of awesome

hi you look chuck norris today dude

by aqwertyuioplkjhgfdszxcvbnm October 21, 2017

9๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Finding Chuck Norris

You cannot find Chuck Norris, but you may aswell try.

Step 1: Go onto Google.com

Step 2: Type 'Find Chuck Norris'

Step 3: Click on the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button.

Step 4: Run.

Finding Chuck Norris is the cause of a series of health problems.

by Chris Meeeek January 29, 2008

27๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


chuck norris

an awesome, kickass, bad mothafucka. Some facts:

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. And when I say knit, I mean kick. And when I say sweaters, I mean babies.

Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks in his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is 10 feet tall, weighs 2 tons, breathes fire, could eat a hammer, and can take a shotgun blast standing.

There is no creationism. There is no evolution. There are only the species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was complete, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and stole his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admits he should have seen it coming and couldn't stay mad for long. The now play poker every tuesday.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. That has nothing do do with his ancestry. The man ate a whole indian.

Chuck Norris has a word for people he puts in a coma--"lucky."

by Johnnywinters February 26, 2006

433๐Ÿ‘ 5596๐Ÿ‘Ž