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He's probably your father.
Only those who wish to have their skin peeled off with their dead children's teeth, be eaten alive by a giant ant, and then be burned with lightning and a magnifying glass should ever utter the name Chuck Norris.
Or
OH JESUS! MY SKIN!
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chuck norris dont have a chin....he just has an extra fist under his beard
chuck norris dont gotta mow....he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow
when the boogeyman goes to sleep..he checks his closet for chuck norris
chuck norris uses a night light... not cause he is afraid of the dark....cause the darks afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris can count to infinity.............twice
chuck norris can eat a bowl of diamonds every day for breakfast..........with no milk
a very awesomly awesom guy otherwise known as......CHUCK NORRIS
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To Be Chuck Norrisafied
To Get Pwnd
To Be Beat Down
To Be Set Aflame and Rolled Down a Mountainside
Chuck Norris
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A phrase used to describe how well known a fact is. If someone does not know some thing obvious, they are either Chuck Norris or dead.
That guy doesn't know that men sit down to pee. He's either Chuck Norris or dead.
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Using both meth and PCP at the same time. It is said to give you nearly Chuck Norris-like strength.
"Did you hear about that guy who Chuck Norris flipped?"
"No, what happened?"
"He kicked a man so hard his kids exploded!"
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The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.
1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.
6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
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Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension.
While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.
Some facts include:
Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.
CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)
CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.
CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.
CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.
CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.
This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )
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