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waking up, finding yourself passed out in a sink, proceeding to look up porn on your computer, and jerking off into a piece of paper as the sun rises because you've got nothing better to do.
When your pet forces you to pet them even though you clearly don’t want to. Occurs more than you think it does.
Bro I didn’t want to pet my dog so she decided to just pet rape me
Verb. The act of holding one's pet in one's lap while patiently sitting on the toilet and taking care of business. This may or may not be against the pet's will.
Pet potting is part of my every day morning routine along with a cup of coffee and watching GMA.
When bread turns moldy it becomes a Bread Pet.
My parents had many Bread Pets on top of the fridge.
The act of brushing your pubic hair.
Jenn: Damn, that looks good. What did you do?
John: Decided it's time to start petting the horse.
when someone has a significant other that is far away and flirts with another person just enough to keep them interested (and get showered with attention), but never actually cheats.
Debbie accused me of trying to hit on Mark, which is not fair because she's just keeping a pet while Vic is away for the semester
If cats and dogs are fur babies, actual babies must be skin pets.
Hey, did you hear, Jessica's pregnant with her second skin pet!
Hey, nice skin pet you got there.