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It's lunchtime and the choice between Subway and McD's ain't gonna cut it.
I'm so hungry I could eat a cow and there sure isn't any of that at McDonalds. It's a Mid-Lunch Crisis. I ordering Chinese!
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When an individual leads his cohorts to believe that his penis is massive in size, although, in actuality, it resembles an enlarged clitoris. The cohorts usually end up feeling sexually threatened.
Person 1: "Hey, did you hear that Jim's dick is 8 and a half inches long?"
Person 2: "No, that's just a Cuban Missile Crisis, his ex-girlfriend told me."
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The confusion of a straight person's sexual preference that is brought forth by an incredibly attractive person of the same sex.
Boy 1: Dude, he is so hot.
Boy 2: .....you have a girlfriend.
Boy 1: I know but just look at him!
Boy 2: *rolls eyes* Wentzian Sexual Identity Crisis?
Boy 1: Seems like it.
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1970's Gas Crisis is the term for a sex act in which a length of plastic tube is inserted into the partner's anus, and sucked on. The act is so named because it appears similar to the gas siphoning that occurred during the gas crisis in the 1970's, where people would suck on a pipe to start the flow of fuel from one source to another.
My ass really hurts after last night, but my partner really wanted to experience the 1970's Gas Crisis.
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When someone throws a shitfit at the house after his or her significant other leaves without saying goodbye. Commonly found within close-nit families and popular parties.
Guy 1: Dude, don't leave me now, bro.
Guy 2: Watch me... watch me take this ass down the road!
Guy 1: NO. If you do that, Gloria is gonna throw a shitfit and the house is gonna go into crisis lock down mode.
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a crisis sumwhere in your twenties
A person having a crisis at the age of 22 but feels they are too young to have a midlife crisis
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Mid 30s white suburban parents who try to act like 20 year old bros
Signs include but not limited to:
American Fighter/affliction or some bullshit shirt about how they’re so offensive and don’t care, obviousLy on roids, overly tan, usually talks about the going to the lake all the time. Exorbitant amount of overpriced product stickers (RTIC, Yeti, Malibu boats and a punisher logo for some reason) on his lifted Jeep with no doors or jacked up F250 and off roading consists of median hopping to avoid suburb traffic jams. Dresses kids in expensive athletic gear (compression pants under basketball shorts) like they are pro’s when little billy’s jump shot sucks and daddy is in denial. Overuse of “bro”, your 38 years old Tom, stop saying that. Miserable behind closed doors
*Exorbitant amount of credit card debt to keep up the appearance of the good life
Their kids are spoiled little fuckboys who think they are special but are just like every other twat waffle in town.
I live around these societal crotchstains and I hate it. Cypress, TX has some good people in it, it’s the asshats who think that because they’re family sits in the front row at church and rubs elbows with the pastor, it makes them part of the “in crowd” People don’t envy your family, it’s annoying and sad. Have some substance in your life and stop being a shallow pool of cloudy douche water.
I feel bad for him, his parents are going through a mid life douche crisis so they don’t pay attention to him.