Table Olympics

When a group of people or one person decides to run across tables in the school cafeteria. Also known as table hopping.

There goes Chase running across those tables.
Oh Shit he broke one!
He really loves the Table Olympics!

Bap Table

A table where all the fucked cunts go. Full of people who hoon. There usually all fucked. Especilly J1

Person 1: Oi want to go to bap table?
Person 2: No cunt I'm not fucked

table spazzing

When you are at a restaurant and you decide to publically spank one out on the table so you get thrown out without paying the bill

I just got thrown out of Nando’s for table spazzing to save myself a few quid.

Table One

When you get old. At parties you are seated at table one.

I feel so old, Im sitting at table one!

Card tabled

When a woman is on her knees being penetrated from behind while performing oral sex on a man in front of her such that her back is a nice, flat surface on which the two men can play cards.

Steve and I card tabled Suzy last night and played stud poker on her back until we both nutted...

Nuke a table

When you yeet a nuke stolen from Kim Jong Un on a table and it explodes

"Lets nuke a table I stole a nuke yesterday"
"Sure"

Table 1

adjective (Table 1'ed)
Used to describe the act of providing a dominant, complete, and masterful retort

After tolerating a few minutes of heckling from an intoxicated patron, the comedian Table 1'ed the heckler, which caused him to leave in shame.