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Fire Porn is when a man roasts his penis in a fire like a marshmallow and his girl or boyfriend sucks or eats his penis
Did you have fire porn last week?
Yeah that’s why my crotch looks like a girl
Too many people trying to control a situation when it is in fact quite small.
A less racist alternative to 'too many chiefs not enough indians'
Worker 1: Dave told me I should be assembling the bricks this way, but Brett said they were meant to be placed this way
Worker 2: too many Wardens, not enough fires
When the male dunks his fingers in hot sauce and proceeds to finger blast the female for firery pleasure
Babe come give my fire crotch your fingers of fire.
Binge watching TV shows on an Amazon Fire Stick.
Jason and I didn't go out. Instead we decided to chill by the fire with some Alpha House.
When you and a mate -preferably another bloke, cos you ain’t a bloke til ya had a bloke - get nude, boof a pint of Guinness each, do star jumps to shake it up in ya guts, then lie down, arseholes facing each other then unleash imagining your mate is on fire and the only thing that can put them out is squirting your sodden bubbly arse juice all over them so hard it extinguishes the flames.
It’s ok to drink once evacuated from your mates bowel.
Bloke 1: Hey Joe, you wanna do a couple of Alice Springs Fire Fighters tonight?
Bloke 2: Yea Tony, let’s get messy. I’m a thirsty boi
You and a mate, preferably another bloke “cos you ain’t a bloke till ya had a bloke ;)” boof a pint of Guinness, hold it in and do a few star jumps to shake it up. Then lie down on your back, arseholes facing each other and unleash as if your friend is on fire and the only thing that will put them out is your sodden bubbly bum juice. Squirt true and hard champion. Godspeed
Bloke 1: Hey Joe, you wanna do an Alice Springs Fire Fighter?
Bloke 2: Fuckn oath Tony!
When your still employed with a company, but instead of firing you they never schedule you no matter how much you beg/bother them about getting any hours and that you want to work whenever they could use you.
My employer is too big of a vagina to straight up fire me, so they soft fired me instead.