Round up to two weeks

Age old saying that most people know of

it's been 5 days so come on just round up to two weeks

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Two-egger

A person who always follows the rules. They would never use three eggs in a two egg recipe. Even if three eggs would make a better batter.

Val would never pass that slow ass car on this curve. She's such a two-egger.

Two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise unknown to each other hook up via a Facebook comment feed and later meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew what I was missing until I has a two dollar turtle sundae.

two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise strangers hook up via a Facebook comment feed and agree to meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew why I was on Facebook until my first two dollar turtle sundae.

two seat ass

A person so obese as to take up two seats on the bus or subway.

Man, my knee is fucking killing me but that two seat ass whale over there just sat down and took up the last two seats. They should make her buy two metropasses!

Two Bob

History and definitions through time:

Two Bob was an expression for two shillings. Currency changed dramatically in The UK changed in the 1970s. Prior to that a £ was 20 shillings. Shillings are no longer made. Historically shillings were made from silver and use of the coin began after the Norman Conquest of England in 1066.

It was an incredibly antiquated denomination when the British monetary system was overhauled and the reference to two shillings had become derogatory by the time the currency stopped being produced.

The expression “Two Bob” is used iften used in period dramas and comedies, for example “I gave two bob to the driver;” is something one might here someone say this on Downtown Abbey or All Creature’s Great and Small.

By the end of WW1, it was starting to be used as a insult or derogatory expression. The derogatory meaning grew after WW2, with the collapse of the British Empire.

Since there is no practical use for the expression and it indicated a very small sum for the century prior to its discontinuation in the UK as well parts of the commonwealth, the expression became derogatory.

Now “Two Bob” generally refers to a cheaply made item or a person someone feels is essentially worthless.

“You’re not worth Two Bob”

Two Bob was two shillings

I gave the driver two Bob

You’re a bloody waste, not worth two Bob

Two Thousand and First

Some dumbass decided to try and make a 9/11 joke except instead of saying 2001 he said Two Thousand and First.

Some dumbass: I'm gonna bomb you on Two Thousand and First like 9/11

Another dumbass: Pardon?