you can't shine shit

The subject of conversation, is in such dire condition that any attempt to fix it is futile. A variation of the expression you can't polish a turd.

delusional mayor: The Chamber of Commerce and I will revitalize downtown Hazleton.

honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!

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IRS Can't Tax Money

money you get illegally. from anything from drugs, to gangs, to whatever.

We're talking that bad money, That IRS Can't Tax Money, ya dig me.

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You can't fix douche

When a known douche tries to change something about himself but his inner douche still abundantly shines through.

Darrell lost 100 pounds and looks pretty good, but you can't fix douche.

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Can't even kink a hose

Used to describe ones lack of skill in normally easy tasks. Like kinking a hose.

Friend one: Man, this guy is so stupid he's doesn't know how to make himself lunch.
Friend two: That guy can't even kink a hose.

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I can't believe it's not butter!

A butter substitute made of vegetal oils and frequently used as a spread. Sometimes its name is used as a humorous/sarcastic reference to a sub-par substitute to something.

<Eats a piece of toast>
- Just a moment, is it butter?
- No, it is "I can't believe it's not butter!"
- Well, *I* can believe it is not butter.

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You can't possibly be flying

A statement following the exclamation, "Oh My GOD!", that one is most likely to hear after throwing one's self at the ground and missing. See throw yourself at the ground and miss.

If you have thrown yourself at the ground and missed, it is vitally important that you do not believe the statement, "you can't possibly be flying", when you hear it. Otherwise, you will suddenly discover that it is true.

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I can't go through with it

A phrase that, once uttered, will inform others that you, being the one who said "I can't go through with it", are unable to complete the task at hand. But there are multiple feelings connected with the phrase. The user of the phrase may actually go through with it, but is just complaining about doing it. Also the opposite may be true, that the user may be simply unable to do it. Deciding if the person is just complaining or really can't do it can be hard to tell, your best bet is to make them do it by any means possible.

Below is an example of "unable to complete"
Idiot 4: I can't go through with it.
Idiot 9: Go through with what?

Below is an example of "unwilling to complete"
Guard 1: That's right, just stuff it in there.
Guard 2: I can't go through with it.

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