Catch 22

A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules

The following is a rather common Catch 22,

Conservatives usually claim one of two things about liberals:
1) They're so open-minded their brains have fallen out
2) They're close-minded hypocrites who are only tolerant of opinions they agree with.
Clearly, these two points of view cannot be reconciled. Therefore I've dubbed it the Anti-Liberal Catch-22.
I mean, which one is it then? Overly open minded idiots or closed-minded hypocrites?
Make up your minds, conservatives!

24👍 20👎

catch 2020

When something is three times as hard or takes three times as long as it should. A condition affecting all aspects of life since 11:59 PM, December 31, 2019.

I thought my battery died, but the jump wouldn't take. Had it towed, and turns out I need a new alternator. I can't afford that shit. I've been out of work for three months.
Catch 2020, man. Catch 2020.

9👍 5👎

catch no ball

To not understand an explanation given by somebody. Originates from the dialect of Hokkien, and commonly used in Malaysia and Singapore.

Catch no ball.

9👍 5👎

Catch a fade

About to catch these hands.

I’m going to catch a fade with Sheri, if she keeps it up

9👍 5👎

catch and release

The act of buying an item or items of clothing with the intention of returning them for a refund.

Mary went to the mall to buy a new dress which she knew she would return. She practices the art of catch and release and thus can shop and save money.

166👍 175👎

Ninja Catch

When a surprise object is falling and you catch it before it reaches the ground

When billy opened the cabinet a cup fell out, billy used a ninja catch to get it before it hit the ground and broke.

5👍 2👎

Catch Hands

This is the beating that gets delivered to a loser specifically for being a fucking loser. In general, these are polo shirt wearing rich boy suburb tough guys that pretty much deserve the beating anyway. It’s better when a girl delivers it.

Yo Tara! This telephone tough guy over here is prancing around with a purple martini and gave me a shoulder. You wanna take care of this???

WHAT! Is that a performance fleece? This kid is about to Catch Hands.

Tara proceeds to bear the shit out of this kid, steal his fleece and throw it in a dumpster after she kicks him while he’s down.

Kid caught hands.

13👍 10👎