Church friend

Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.

I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)

church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.

Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!

The Church of Mr.Clean

A want-to-be religion worshipping Mr.Clean. Seems like a cult and probably is. You are allowed to worship other gods, but Mr.Clean mostly. And it seems as if The Church of Mr.Clean hates Donald J. Trump.

Person 1: I wish there was a religion where I could worship Mr.Clean
Person 2: There actually is! It's called the Church of Mr.Clean!

church heat

Really hot inside...like in a church full of people hopping and praising the lord (and sweating).
Temperatures above 80 usually found in crouded places or where the thermostat may be controled by a church elder who needs to warm his chilled bones.

Man, it was so hot in that cafeteria, it was like they had the church heat going!

God Church

It's a word typically used to describe how well merch is selling

and I just dropped some new merch and it's selling like a god church

14👍 8👎

church fudge

two holy beings(one nun, one priest) have intercourse ,but after priest busts a huge nut ,he then proceeds to take a massive dump in nuns mouth.

yo, did you hear our local churches holy beings had a church fudge .

47👍 35👎

church services

Euphemism for sex. Great to use for in-office emails and phone conversations when you think "Big Brother" may be listening.

Greg: "I've taken that bitch out 7 times now and still no church services."
Dan: "You're wasting your time dude. Here, I'll give my sister a call, thats a sure thing."

10👍 5👎