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Marty Massage

A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.

Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!

Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)

Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.

Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?

Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!

Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!

Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.

Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.

Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!

by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011


dirty massage chair

Two vibrating bullets in her pussy and your dick in her ass.

Went home with a girl from the bar and she let me enjoy a dirty massage chair.

by 2fast2flaccid February 3, 2022


Massages

a pornstar who likes to massage someone or selling her body for a profitable gain

Your Massages friend uses her hand so well

by Official Diksyunaryow June 11, 2021


National massage boobs day

You massage any girl boobs on Every other month and the holiday starts November!!!!!

Hi Girlllsss! YOU KNOW it's that month, last month it was skipped, so i get to massage your boobs! ITS NATIONAL MASSAGE BOOBS DAYYYYY!!!!

by Omran's lover October 16, 2019

1👍 1👎


Cat Massage

The act of allowing one's cat(s) to tenderly pat down areas of their body. Also commonly referred to as a pussy massage.

"the other day I was watching tv and my cat came up to me and gave me a great cat massage on my belly."

"Cat massage? I thought they were called pussy massages."

"Sometimes. But that sounds a bit raunchy so I stick with cat massage."

"Oh. Sounds good Broseidon!"

by C3PBro June 9, 2013


Mexican eyeball massage

Noun;
When you splash the tip of your Johnson with a dab of habañero hot sauce, and then proceed to poke your mate in the eyeball.

Let me tell you… Last night I went out to the local pub with the intent of playing billiards, and I received a Mexican eyeball massage from the softest local pirate. He had hair like a lady.

by Hunky bear junior June 18, 2022


Kentucky Drive-Thru Massage

This is when a person is in a Drive-Thru in Kentucky. Preferably a McDonalds and there is an attractive male attending you in your car. You then proceed to flash the man with your breasts. When the man gets an erection you then try to get him to place his penis out of the window when this is achieved you then close the window with extreme force and the penis is disconnected from the rest of his body. You then put the penis in your bag and now you can use the penis for anything you want.

Tom: "Yo, What happened why are you in the emergency room?"
Randy: "This bitch pulled a Kentucky Drive-Thru Massage on me"

by pilpips April 9, 2016