A guy that plays soccer at a moderate or high level and thinks he's the fliest thing out there. Most of the time he has metro-sexual tendencies, with common patterns such as shaved eyebrows, skinny jeans, tight shirts, dyed hair and bitch-like personality. The Soccer-douche is everywhere in the soccer sphere; some classify David Beckham as one, but undoubtedly the biggest examples of a soccer-douche are Christiano Ronaldo and Mario Balotelli. Do not be confused, a metro-sexual soccer player with most of the characteristics previously mentioned is not necessarily a soccer-douche, unless he has a bitch-like personality which is the trademark characteristic of a soccer douche; by this we mean an egocentric, insensitive, whiny attitude. The soccer-douche is a singular breed and represents a very unique situation in the world of man-sports given his consistent success in the sport of soccer, where he is able to feed his ego but at the same time is accepted and sometimes almost idolized by the fan base which is mostly comprised of average down-to-earth guys who in normal situations would frown upon his kind.
Guy 1: Hey Christiano want to go play a pick up game at the park
Christiano: No thanks, I only play at the Bernabeu
Guy 1: Man you're such a soccer douche
57π 11π
The most loathesome creature to ever walk this earth.
One reason being that they're the cause of so many good anime series being severely butchered when dubbed, such as Rockman.EXE (MegaMan NT Warrior) and One Piece.
85π 18π
This girl is not one that likes pink dresses. She lives for soccer and will never give it up. She canβt really do anything else but play and practices every day. That type of girl that wears shorts on January and doesnβt care about how she looks. Wears her hair in prerap and up all the time. And only wears sneakers and high soccer socks. Silent care about boys and drama. Gets mad easily and is not afraid to scream. She is very loud and has high self confidence. She is very competitive and makes everything a competition. But she is very nice and is a good person to talk to.
36π 6π
White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
72π 15π
Some sort of detriment to life. A waste of body cells. Middle-class or lower-upperclass, SUV driving, bitch. Cuts people off on the roads, cause accidents only able to be paid for by her husband's income. High up on the school PTA, try to censor anything and everything. Fucked over all of American society.
They are also great targets for a variety of weapons.
Jay was drving his brand new Corvette Z06 when a fugly soccer mom crashed into it with her fucking large minivan. Needless to say, Jay upheld the rebellious spirit by blowing her head of with an M82 .50 cal. He then ate her children and blew up her house.
2136π 634π
1. The enemy of every gamer/anime fan out there.
2. Middle aged women who drive their kids around from school to activities in SUVs and have absolutely no driving skils. I mean reallly. They cause most of the accident on the roads. They also try to cancel anything that has a message, such as anime, music, internet sites, video games, and love. These fuckers really need to be shot.
Me: Yeah, so I was listening to Green Day the other day, and-
Soccer Mom: Don't say that name around my children! I'm telling your mothers!
Friend: What the...fuck off, we're talking here!
Soccer Mom: OHMYGOODNESSHOWDAREYOUSAYSUCHAWORDTOMEI'MGOINGTOGETEERYTHINGYOUKNOWANDLOVECANCELLEDANDTHEN-
Me:(Pulls out gun and shoots) Bitch. Now where's my Foamy the squirrel?!?!?!
199π 52π
Middle aged, middle class white woman, usually from the suburbs of lare metropolitan areas. Her life revolves around her 'prescious' children, and she will do anything to keep them safe. This leads her to support things to keep those sweet 'gifts from God' safe, including: gun control laws, new stop signs, new traffic lights, speed bumps in residential neighborhoods, booster seats, and enviornmental laws.
Soccer moms usually own large, fuel ineffecient vehicles. This is the consequence of her having to transport her kids with all their sports equipment, books from sporting event to sporting event. Another consequence of this is a strong support for protracted guerilla wars in the Middle East that soccer moms (wrongly) believe will keep the price of gas down.
They voted for Clinton/Gore in 1996 cause Clinton was cute and made them think Dole would gut education/health care. In 2004 Bush has them scared shitless that terrorists would target their 'babies'.
A typical day for a soccer mom involves making lunch for her little tykes after which she 'runs errands'. These errands usually involve the purchase of large amounts of drugs from black men in the city. The drug causes soccer moms to drive erraticaly during rush hour (ie cutting people off, failing to merge properly, failing to signal while changing lanes, hugging two lanes, failing to maintain safe speeds). Drugs also cause the average soccer mom to adopt dellusional perceptions of her children. This causes her to yell at the other team during soccer matches whenever her child fails to score.
287π 80π