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An explosive device. A booby trap. A package bomb. A hand-tossed grenade.
Long before George Harrison, Sean Penn and Madonna and the movie they made by that name, a Shanghai Surprise was a home made bomb used by the Chinese tongs or gangs. The expression probably dates from the late 19th or early 20th century. While I cannot cite chapter and verse of it's origin, I'm older than Madonna and understood the expression at the time the movie was made. Not everything is about sex, kids. That's why I unsubscribed from the UD.
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Aren't birthday parties or presents better when you don't expect them? Surprise Sex also a fantastic method to meet new people and interesting people like hot women or the police. Just ask Bill O'Reilly, he has been engaging in the practice of 'Surprise Sex' for nearly 20 years.
I didn't rape her officer. Haven't you heard of surprise sex?
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When you do a girl slowly from behind, in the anus or vagina, in and out, in and out, in and out, and then you slam your fist up her anus while screaming "Meatball Surprise!"
"I thought my love with Denise was forever, until I gave her the Meatball Surprise"
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Your playing just the tip and BAM! You ram it in her
Last Night Mike made laura cry by giving her the emeril surprise
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When your at a restaurant you ask for a salty surprise and the cook soon cums in your mouth
Can I have a salty surprise
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When performing a sexual act involving defecation, said defecator experiences extreme diarrhea resulting in an explosive surprise for the fecal recipient.
Bruce: Hey Lance, wanna try a glass bottom boat?!
Lance: No brah, last time we did that you gave me a Hiroshima surprise...
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After taking a dump you realize that you need a deeper cleaning than normal. You layer up the tissue, insert it in to your anus, and push gainfully as to ensure adequate penetration depth. Unfortunately you pushed a little too hard and that cheap toilet paper that they stock in the bathrooms at the office is not capable of withstanding the finger pressure.
Your reaction time is not nearly quick enough. Your eager finger slips right through the gaping tissue hole in to your anus which you have purposely relaxed so as to allow for proper penetration. Your anus is not so relaxed any more and you instinctively tighten the muscles, producing a firm, albeit temporary hold on your finger.
You then hastily yank your finger out of your rectum causing slight discomfort as the small, twisted pieces of cheap tissue have caused immediate, itchy irritation due to their scrubbing your anal wall.
You muster the will to look at your finger. There is no time to become curious as to whether or not it will smell because you realize quickly that it does, partly because you wafted your finger to the frontal area where your senses are most responsive and partly because fresh, moist, shit that is not submerged in water creates a powerful odor indeed.
Finally, you require several rotations of hand-washing with soap to completely rid of the stench that has penetrated the oils contained on your finger.
This my friends is the Southside Surprise.
AGAIN? I thought they upgraded the toilet paper! Southside Surprise strikes again.
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