Thousand-fold rule

The inherent birthright of every human to seek vengeance at a rate of thousand times the original, unprovoked offense upon the original offender(s).
If, for no good reason, a “friend” were to punch you unexpectedly in the stomach, you then would refer to the “Thousand-Fold Rule” and be allowed thousand free stomach punches upon said “friend.”

Now feel the wrath of the thousand-fold rule.

The Rules of Being Tall

1.) Everyone shorter than you is a short person
2.) If a short person is struggling to reach an elevated item you are not allowed to offer help
3.) If a short person requests your assistance in obtaining said elevated item you are legally required to oblige
4.) The weather up here is nice
5.) You are afraid of ceiling fans
6.) Ignoring rule five is punishable by death
7.) You are allowed to say "can you put your seat up" at any time

Jesse Hows the weather up there Payson?
Payson Chill 69 degrees.
Jesse The Rules of Being Tall do say the weather is nice

Rule of 3

The Latin phrase “omne trium perfectum” means that every set of three is complete. A Creative Pragmatist will apply this to outfit composition; when you have selected three key items, the destination has been reached.

Person 1: I think i’m missing something, my outfit doesn’t feel complete.

Person 2: You’re not thinking of the Rule of 3, you need to have 3 components in an outfit and you only have 2. Try a pop of color for your shoe!

Five Eight Rule

The Five Eight Rule is a rule in relationships between expatriates and locals of a host country. An expat or local who is considered a "5s" by their own home dating market is viewed as "8s" by the opposite party. Often, the rule applies to both parties. Each one perceive the other as an "8", but they are both, in reality, "5s" in their own home dating market.

Person 1: I don't know how Josh landed that Asian girl. She seems way out of his league. He's a 5 at best.

Person 2: Five Eight Rule, dude.

Larkin's Rule

If a piece of political art is so confusing and you can't ascertain the meaning, it is the artist's fetish art and they obviously get off to it daily

I have no idea what Ben Garrison is saying in his latest piece, I'm invoking Larkin's Rule

Chovanec's Rule

Everything is Fucked.

One scientist has found that climate change closely follows the laws of Chovanec's Rule.

The Cowboy Hat Rule

Put simply, if you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy

“I saw Jamie wearing a guys hat when she was out on the town the other day”
“You know the cowboy hat rule - you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy”